Dear sweet girl,
You’re 13 years old, and I am now twice your age. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was standing where you are now, looking excitedly down the long tunnel that is your life. You’re going into high school next year, and things are about to change. I know you’ve been studying the Bible a little bit, but the next steps are unclear. I remember vividly your hopes for the future and how desperately you’d like to know when and how all of the big life events will occur: When will you meet your husband? When will you know --really know-- what you want to become as an adult? Where will you go to college? Where will you live?
I know you wonder and dream about all of these things. But first, I want to tell you a few important nuggets of information that I wish I had learned when I was your age. Many people tried to teach me these things themselves, but I wish I had truly absorbed them. Maybe it will be better coming from me (well, you). From someone who has quite literally walked in your shoes.
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Don’t worry
First of all, it’s going to be okay. There are many, many worries that can threaten to overtake you today, tomorrow, and in the days to come. I know you worry about the things you can’t control, and I know that you have a tendency to become consumed by all of the “what ifs.” I’m here, 13 years later, to tell you that there’s little worth in worrying; it will only keep you from thriving in your relationships with people and with God. When you’re consumed with fear, you miss out on opportunities to grow in countless ways. Learn to be brave, sweet girl. Learn to memorize scriptures and learn to think of things that are true. Learn to pray to God when you feel afraid and consumed with dread. When you trust in God in your darkest times, your faith will be strengthened exponentially.
Scriptures to savor:
Philippians 4:6-8: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ”
1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
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And now, the boys
I knew I couldn’t wait too long before addressing this one. Boys are wonderful, sweet girl, and God created them for many amazing reasons. But today, I want you to learn to think about God a little bit more than you think about boys. I know, it’s hard, because they’re right there in front of you, and it feels good to get lots of attention from them. However, I know from experience (quite literally) that if you prioritize these kinds of relationships and fantasies, it will end up causing more damage to yourself and to the boys you’re talking to. You have to develop your own strong convictions, not only on whether or not you’ll date someone who isn’t a Christian, but also on how you choose to treat boys in general in order to avoid leading them on and in an effort to protect their hearts. Flirting feels good, but it’s earmarked for disaster as attachment grows. Don’t ever let your mood become dependent on a boy.
Scriptures to savor:
Psalm 146:3: “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.”
Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Psalm 27:14: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
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Take ownership
Your faith is yours. You have parents who are faithful, and they’ve given you the tools to forge your own relationship with God. It’s important that you believe for yourself what the Bible says; don’t just go with it because that’s what you’ve been told. The best thing you’ll ever do is come to your own conclusions about Jesus’ life and teachings. Dig deep into the Bible and dream big dreams with God. Fall in love with the pieces that you understand, and ask questions about the pieces that you don’t. There will come a time when you’ll have to stand on your own faith. You won’t always be able to rely on others to walk with you in this way. Take the time to forge a deep and precious relationship with God; He will never fail you.
Scriptures to savor:
Acts 17:11: “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”
Hebrews 13:8: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
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Treasure
I know you ache for future days of freedom and husbands and real money, but please, sweet girl, don’t take this time for granted. There are going to be some difficult days within the next four years. But, for the most part, you are going to have opportunities to make wonderful memories with family, with friends, and with God. Be present with your family, despite the distractions that fight for your attention. Play games with them, sit around the dinner table with them, talk to them. And about your friends who are here today: many of them will not be within your circle in the years to come. People move, people change. Take every opportunity you can to treasure these friendships now. And with God: you’ve got it good. You have the ability to unveil countless truths about God right here, right now. The Bible and its many facets are invaluable. You’ve got more time right now than you will ever have again to read and study and learn about Him! Have fun. Make lasting memories.
Scriptures to savor:
Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Psalm 119:18: “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.”
John 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
And as for your many, many questions regarding the future milestones -- don’t fret about those things. Most, if not all, of the answers to those questions end up being messier and more beautiful than you can possibly imagine now. But in all, God’s timing is perfect. Like it says in our favorite scripture in Acts 17, He knows the times and places, so that everyone -- especially you -- would seek Him, and reach out for Him, though He is not far from any one of us.
I love you sweet girl,
Me