In Seattle, we are blessed with wonderful examples of families who have built their families through adoption. Consequently, we have an annual collection to financially support those adopting. One fateful Sunday, God planted a seed in my heart hearing the stories of such families. As a campus student dreaming of my future, I was inspired to see how such children came from bleak situations to flourish in loving homes; and, as well, I was horrified by the statistics of what happens to children who “age-out” of orphanages. I brought it up then to my boyfriend --  who is now my husband -- as a cost for him to count prior to his marriage proposal. Although he accepted, designed our budget to save, and did a vast majority of the paperwork, it was only when we were matched with our daughter that it truly became his dream too.

Typically, one does all the paperwork and waits to get matched. With our daughter’s special needs, we were actually matched before the paperwork was done. To be matched to adopt a child, you are given a file, known as a referral, to decide from some photos and medical documents if this will be your child. How does one know if that’s my child or not? We had received one referral of a child and after some insight from a trusted friend, decided not to pursue it. 

Thinking that it would be a while before another opportunity came, we received Lizzie’s file only a couple of weeks later. We received her file and had a doctor specializing in international adoptions review it with us. Prior to the consultation, we prayed for God to make it clear by showing us what we would need to bring her home. We were advised that walking aids would be needed; and that was just one item amongst various other speculations. Perhaps a good deal more would be required. We prayed through such scenarios of potential mental retardation, cerebral palsy, and even the possibility of skull restructuring. We chose to have hope and to believe that the support she needed in walking and talking was the challenge God was calling out to us, and that we could support that. 

Then followed a long period of finishing paperwork, getting consulate approvals, forms notarized, and a lot of waiting from February until Halloween until we were finally given travel approval from China to meet and adopt our little girl. When we met our daughter, l would love to say it was like a fantasy come true, but instead feelings of doubt and insecurity overwhelmed me. But God is faithful (Deuteronomy 7:9 NIV, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.”) and we fell in love with her and her coy smiles.

It would have been easy to let Satan win. With China adoptions, you have 24 hours to count the cost before formally adopting your child. It was easy to compare my daughter with the other kiddos who were walking and some who were learning English, but not my child. The comparison game is one of Satan’s biggest ploys. But when it was just Elizabeth, my husband, & I, we were happy and it felt like a missing piece of our family was now complete.

After being placed with us for a year, Lizzie could still not walk or talk. It could be easy to listen, like Eve, to Satan, and begin to doubt and misunderstand God‘s promises (Genesis 3:1—“did God really say…?”). It could be easy to swing between extremes — to give up and not fight for her development or take for granted the progress accomplished. Oh, how Satan uses our families and loved ones to expose our sinful nature! But Lizzie was acclimating and God was using her curiosity to motivate growth in mobility as her body strengthened.

It’s not easy having a child with special needs. It’s daunting not knowing how far she can develop. It’s frustrating when she won’t do the physical therapy exercises that she had mastered the day before. Some days she cannot seem to manage the simplest of activities. But what is impossible to me, with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). God may not be working according to my timeline (2 Peter 3:8 NIV, “with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise…”), but the victories are there. Before the school year started and while preparing for her to enter 1st grade, my daughter would not stand up unassisted unless she was completely distracted, and then only for a few seconds. If she was aware she was standing on her own, she instinctively grabbed on to something for support. A few weeks later, she took several steps unassisted for the first time ever, and we all cried. Three months later, she stood on her own for over 6 minutes - challenging herself to balance and focus. 

Although I had expected her to be walking and talking within her first year with us, she is growing in her own time. God is working and challenging me to be grateful and surrendered. We’ve seen her take steps on her own and even learn a couple new words. Victory will come, but it may look different than we expect and it’s on the Lord Almighty’s schedule.

Kimberly Han is a Chicagoland native who attended the University of Washington in Seattle, where she was met, studied the Bible and was baptized on December 1, 2004.  Kimberly has had a tapestry of professional experiences – fraud analyst for an online jewelry company, tobacco cessation coach, and business analyst, amongst other roles. Now, she is a buyer for the Boeing Company.  Kimberly and her husband Simon met in the UW Campus Ministry and have been married over 10 years.  They have two young children, their biological son Roman who is 5, and their daughter Elizabeth adopted from China who is 6 – and still reside in Seattle supporting the young families and adoptive ministries.