The Spirit of Doubt

By Beth Sherrill

Minneapolis USA

Scripture: Luke 1:5-23

Take a moment to imagine being Zechariah in this passage of scripture. You have been serving the Lord faithfully with your wife Elizabeth for decades, and yet you remain childless and you are now well past the age of childbearing. Two times a year you make the trip to Jerusalem to serve at the temple, dreaming about the day when you might be the one chosen to go into the temple to offer up incense to the Lord. Once in a lifetime a priest’s name may be called (lot cast) to offer the incense in the temple before the Lord. Some would never get to experience this honor. To have his lot cast for this job would have been a dream come true for Zechariah and a high point in his ministry life.

When Gabriel appears to Zechariah, Zechariah is gripped with fear, as I am sure most of us would be! Imagine how nervous you would already be going into the temple of the Lord to perform this very important job and then you are met by an angel! Gabriel then goes on to tell Zechariah that the Lord has heard his prayers and shares with him the amazing news that he will have a son and that his son will be great in the sight of the Lord and be used to prepare the way for the Messiah. Wow! While there surely were many different emotions running through Zechariah’s mind and heart, we get a snippet into his thinking as he responds to Gabriel in vs. 18 with a question of doubt.

When I read these verses, I feel great compassion for Zechariah. I can relate to his question of doubt on several levels. Even though he is hearing a direct message from God through an angel, he still has some doubts. I am sure that Zechariah and Elizabeth had spent decades praying for a child, with no answer. Maybe his perseverance in continuing to believe and trust God is running thin due to the disappointment he has been experiencing. Maybe they had spent years wrestling with insecurity and struggling with the feeling that they were being punished by God for something they had done and that was why they hadn’t been blessed with a child. To the Jewish people at the time, children were regarded as God’s reward for their faithful service to Him. Psalm 127:3 states, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” 

I can relate to this topic very personally. I had a hard time getting pregnant with both of our boys. After years of praying, and visiting doctors, God blessed us with our firstborn son, and I was overjoyed! A couple of years later, we were praying to add to our family again and after months and months of trying, I was able to get pregnant, but then had a miscarriage. I was devastated, but determined to trust in God’s timing.  As time went on, and months turned into a year, and a year turned into two, I had many moments of wresting with God. Many tearful prayers where I began questioning my worth as a woman and questioning if God was punishing me for something. Being barren or having seasons of barrenness wears on you in a very intimate way. 

 It reminds me of this scripture in Proverbs 13:12

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

When we start to lose hope, we can become weary and discouraged, which can often lead us down a path of questioning and doubt. Yet through this doubt, God remains gracious and faithful to us.

Have you ever experienced seasons like this? Maybe no one in your family has made the decision to make Jesus Lord after years of dedicated prayer. Perhaps you find yourself without a spouse though that is the longing of your heart. Maybe you have lost a loved one and are working through a broken heart. Maybe you too have been trying to start a family and it just hasn’t happened yet. Maybe you are struggling with chronic pain or sickness and have been begging God to take it away from you. Maybe you are struggling with anxiety and depression and have prayed fervently for God to take away your “thorns” only to hear...”my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor.12:9). Maybe this pandemic has worn your faith thin and you are grasping at straws trying to remain close to God.

Whatever it is, dear sisters, of these promises we can be sure:

1.    “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love....he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.” -Psalm 103:8-11

2.    “All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant” -Psalm 25:10

What I admire about Zechariah and Elizabeth is that even though they hadn’t received what they desperately wanted, they continued to love and serve the Lord wholeheartedly. They didn’t allow their discouragement or doubt to take them out spiritually. They continued to walk closely with God and to live a life in service to Him. 

God knew what was going on in Zechariah’s heart, yet He loved him and chose to answer his lifelong prayer in a way that I am sure Zechariah had NEVER imagined. That is our God! He is capable of doing immeasurably more than we could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20)!

I love this quote from the book Believing God by Beth Moore on this topic:

“I’m going to believe Him [God] to do anything His word says He can, then if He chooses not to, I don’t have to assume [the worst].....instead, I get to know that a greater yes is in progress, and I can count on the bigger miracle” (pp. 80-81)

Even when Zechariah responded faithlessly, God didn’t strip him of the promise. God even named their unborn child John, which means the “Lord is gracious.” Zechariah did have to work through nine months of speechlessness as a consequence for his unbelief, but the promise for a son still remained.  Our God is so gracious with us, and ALL of His ways are loving.

Questions for Reflection:

1.    What are the things that tempt you to doubt God?

2.    Are there any areas in your life that you are feeling hopeless about? Any areas that you have been praying about for months, years, decades and now, like Zechariah, are finding yourself struggling with a spirit of doubt?

3.    Think of some times in your life when God has answered your prayers or the longings of your heart in amazing or unexpected ways. How did you feel? Allow those times to minister to your heart as you go through times of doubt.