It’s two and half years since my diagnosis. I’m still in the clear, thank God. I’m on four medications to prevent recurrence. Menopause is in full swing due to one of them. I've got ongoing chemo fog (a great excuse for my already flaky memory!). I’ve got lymphoedema (chronic swelling) in my arm and signs of Inflammatory Arthritis throughout my body, and one wonky boob still awaiting a new nipple!These are some of the ugly truths about life after breast cancer. But I stand by my original sentiments — I thank God for the cancer!Amazing grace in my opinion is how God uses sin itself to bring healing and to show off His glory. In this case, it’s not my sin but the consequences of a fallen world that brings sickness and decay.I’ve had a physical and spiritual makeover in so many ways. Chemo-curls are in full array but I’ve loved my new look (though now I’m at that awkward in between stage of my hair growing back!). I’m working a fraction of what I was — with room to breathe, space to rest and reflect in God’s presence, time to be with my kids, (re)build with my husband, and strive to make the most of every opportunity by sharing how God shines light in every dark corner. Indeed, the days are evil (Eph 5:15-16) and the whole world is in need of that Amazing Grace.“Now Christ lives his life in you! And even though your body may be dead because of the effects of sin, his life-giving Spirit imparts life to you because you are fully accepted by God. Yes, God raised Jesus to life! And since God’s Spirit of Resurrection lives in you, he will also raise your dying body to life by the same Spirit that breathes life into you!”Romans 8:10-11 TPTI’m grateful to be alive and to realise how dependent we really are on God and his perfect ways. I’m grateful that the month before I was diagnosed a drug was approved in the UK that can reduce the risk of recurrence by up to a THIRD and I got the opportunity to be on that drug. I’m grateful that as a direct result of my cancer God has allowed me to reach out to others.
Count Your Blessings Backward: Dealing with a Stage Three Breast Cancer Diagnosis
By Kristen Nisr, London, UK
Editors’ Note: The World Health Organization reports that Breast Cancer is the most common cancer among women. As Breast Cancer Awareness month comes to a close in many countries around the world, we have one more story we are proud to share with you, from our sister Kristen Nisr in London, UK. We asked her a few questions about her journey and got some inspiring answers.
WTI: How did you discover that you had breast cancer?
Kristen:
I was laying in bed one night, my hand casually resting on my chest, when I noticed a hard spot at the top of my left breast. As I poked and prodded, I found the lump was almost the size of a golf ball. But when I went for a mammogram and ultrasound I was told I was “lucky” -- it was just a mass of cysts but due to the size they did a biopsy (thank God!). Results came back and I, having thought it was nothing, had shown up alone to my results appointment only to realise I was being informed I had Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC). Turns out it was Stage Three (six lymph nodes involved). I went through a single mastectomy with reconstruction followed by 16 rounds of chemo and 15 sessions of radiation.
WTI: How have you seen God in your breast cancer journey?
Kristen:
It’s hard to know where to begin with this question! God showed up for me in so many ways through my cancer journey. I had been going through a very rough patch for a few years. I was exhausted from so many responsibilities and there were challenges in my life that felt like mountains that wouldn’t budge. The promise that He would move those maintains, if I only asked, left me feeling confused and hurt as my prayers seemed to be met with silence for a long time. But I continued to ask, seek and knock and I fought to hold on to faith in God’s promises. Convinced that it was only a matter of time, I was begging God for breakthroughs and waiting.
This passage well describes how I felt just prior to my diagnosis: “Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:1-3)
WTI: What would you want to say to a woman who may read your words who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, or who is in the middle of her treatment for breast cancer?
Kristen:
I know it’s a daunting time; but God knew about this turn of events in your life years before it ever came to pass. And if he allowed it, trust and watch... Spend deep times in worship while you’re resting and recovering so you can see and hear God; and look for all the things that are improving -- not only in spite of the cancer but because of it! This may be relationships with friends or family or that have become tighter due to the cancer, or it might even be the relationships that have been estranged since the cancer (sometimes that can be a blessing in disguise as well!). Or it might be the much-needed health kick you’ve begun, or the re-evaluating and rearranging the way you spend your time. It might be the people you’re now in a position to inspire or befriend because of the cancer. I believe there are many unique blessings for each of us.
One of the main things God taught me through my cancer journey is to count my blessings backwards -- because if you look back carefully and connect the dots, you can always see little miracles aligning at just the right time in just the right ways to bring about the next step towards something beautiful.
For example: when my husband and I married, ten years prior to my cancer, we had to decide if he was coming to the US or if I was going to the UK. I realised the master’s program I had started was completely wrong for me, so I applied for a more appropriate one in the UK. I believe God knew I had to be in that program, so I would quit and go to the UK, because ten years down the road I would need the incredible treatment I’ve had from the British National Health Service for no cost, and the many months off work I received in the UK, so I could just rest and recover and go back to work part time, without it affecting my healthcare or creating any financial hardship.
Kristen rings the bell at the hospital to celebrate completing
her cancer treatment program
Obviously that won’t be the same for everyone reading this but undoubtedly God will be working in your situation in a very unique way even if it means you are struggling with medical bills or unable to get the rest you need, or even more daunting challenges, like a Stage Four diagnosis . But those very struggles may be what is leading to the next great step in your story or even your legacy if God has so decided. I encourage you to ask, seek, and knock to understand why He would allow such a thing in your life and to look carefully for the loving thread connecting everything.
Author Bio: I am from the San Francisco area, where I was baptised in 2000. After completing my degree in International Development at UCLA I spent three years serving with the church in Istanbul, Turkey and teaching English there. In 2012, after meeting and marrying my wonderful husband, Sadek, I moved to London, UK where I continued to pursue my training in International Development with a focus on programme planning and administration. Since 2014 I have had the opportunity to work for HOPE worldwide UK on their UK and International programmes. We have been blessed with two beautiful girls, Hannah and Sarah, currently four and eight years old. We lead a family group from our home in a very vibrant and diverse community where we enjoy the opportunity to mix and reach out to people from all over the world.We take the opportunity to visit family and friends in California, Detroit, and Lebanon whenever we can.
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