Gentleness

Lisa Balian, Australia

“Come to me, all you who are tired and are carrying heavy loads. I will give you rest. Become my servants and learn from me. I am gentle and free of pride. You will find rest for your souls. Serving me is easy, and my load is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 NIRV

devotional

Gentleness was not an attribute I was raised with, nor a quality I ever aspired to embody. No-one who knows the amazing women in my family would describe any of them as gentle. We are loud, feisty, direct, ‘tell it like it is’ women. For the longest time, I did not comprehend that my style of communicating was often angry, rude and aggressive, and nor did I realise that in this way, I was damaging the very relationships I held dear. Gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Ephesians 4:2 calls us to be completely humble, gentle and patient with one another.

A misconception I had is that gentleness is weakness or passivity. True gentleness, I am learning, requires great strength and selfcontrol. Gentleness comes from a state of humility. In the verse from Matthew 11, Jesus puts the two together “I am gentle and free from pride”. My lack of gentleness is so often caused by my prideful spirit, my self-righteousness, being easily angered or wanting revenge. For me, having a gentle spirit is very much tied into how surrendered I am to God. If I am worried and upset about many things (Luke 10:41), it is near impossible for me to have the “quiet and gentle spirit” that Peter says is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:4). I love the verse where David says in Psalms 131: 2 “But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother”. Gentleness places our strength under God’s guidance. He can then use our words and actions for good in His kingdom.

reflection questions

• In what ways has God been gentle and tender with you?

• How do you feel being spoken to with gentleness / tenderness as opposed to being spoken to harshly or in anger?

• What are your barriers to showing gentleness in your interactions with others?

challenge

Memory verse: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1