Genuine Faith, Genuine Drive 

Finding your own value and joy in God without being dependent on results

By Ulrika Sandström, Stockholm, Sweden

I live in Stockholm and work as a preschool teacher.  I have been a disciple for 32 years in the Stockholm Church. Lately I have put into words some reflections and beliefs I have long held. I want to share three things that have greatly influenced my joy and have instilled faith in me in recent years.

I have found my own genuine faith and drive

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

In a church that is forward-looking and driven, it is easy to place expectations on each

other. Many times, this happens unconsciously. But it is not a good thing if you are driven and motivated by the expectations of others. I think we need to help each other find our own inner genuine faith and be driven by that, instead of putting expectations on each other. We need to be able to listen if someone is having a hard time in their life. Having positive expectations of your potential and ability is helpful, but having expectations from someone that you should do more than you do or be somehow different than you are, can kill your own joy, motivation and drive. You must be allowed to be who you are in order to develop your own God-given gifts.

In recent years, I have worked hard to peel away expectations I felt from others, to connect with my own heart. What do I want as a Christian? From MY own heart? It is important to give yourself space, to use the Bible to help you figure out what your own beliefs and values are in life, so that you don't fall into the trap of being driven by other people's expectations.

If I am driven by the expectations of others to share my faith, then it becomes merely a duty and a heavy burden. But if, instead, I am in touch with my OWN heart, I am driven by my own will to share with others the good things that I myself have received. But what I undertake to do always needs to be based on what I am capable of. Under those premises, it will be exciting to see what meetings God has planned between me and other people, whose paths I will cross. 

If I am driven by other people's expectations to show up at church meetings, then it steals my joy, and then it becomes a heavy burden for me to attend. But if I am driven by my OWN heart, so that I feel that I want to come to be part of the community, both to give and to receive encouragement, then it GIVES me energy and joy. 

I have started praying that God will bring me together with the people I can give or receive encouragement from at each church meeting. Then it becomes exciting to come to meetings and see what God has planned. And I pray that God will be working to bring everyone who comes to church together, so that no one who comes to church leaves feeling alone. I also want to remember to consider if there is someone who is not present at church meetings, who may be at sick at home and feeling alone, someone who may be in need of my care and attention. 

I have found my own value

Romans 2:11 says, “For God does not show favoritism."

Now I will use the concept of a pedestal, an object to put something high up so that it is visible – for example, you can put a flower plant or a statue on a pedestal. The expression "to put someone on a pedestal" usually means that you have an excessive regard for that person.

We humans sometimes put other people up on pedestals -- people we look up to or feel great respect for. Sometimes we also put ourselves up on a pedestal and look down on other people. This is something very human, which I have experienced outside the church, but also in the church. I think many times it happens unconsciously with us. But we want to follow the Bible, and it says that God does not discriminate between people. Do we strive to think like God does, or do we allow ourselves to have pedestals in our lives?

My problem in the past has been that I put others up on high pedestals and felt less worthy myself. But now I have thrown all those pedestals out the window. God says we are all equal, so why should we put each other up on pedestals? If God doesn't differentiate between people in that way, surely we shouldn't either.

If you read the Bible, you can see that God did not work through people because they had reached pedestal positions. He often worked through people who were considered lowly by human standards or who were in difficult situations. He cared about them and their situation and wanted to give them a chance to be used in a powerful way. Nor did he choose to work through people because they were outgoing and articulate. On the contrary, you can see examples of how he turned to people who had not been given the gift of eloquent speech, and he used them for great tasks and in powerful ways.

God does not discriminate between people in the way that we do. He looks at people's hearts, and it doesn't matter if we are introverts or extroverts. God has given us different kinds of gifts and has created us differently because we are all needed, with the gifts he has given to each one. In our society, we often favor the ability to be extroverted, which is a skill that can be very useful. However, those who are not as outgoing are equally needed with the special gifts given to them – for example, the important ability to be able to reflect and analyze with patience and care.

But even if I throw out my pedestals, I can expect difficulty if I meet someone else who has pedestals in their life. And I might find myself in situations where my own pedestals reappear. I think getting rid of pedestals is a lifelong project.

The strange thing is that I really discovered my own value when I was in a situation where I felt very vulnerable, abandoned and alone. How did that lead to me feeling more valuable as a human being? Well, it was because I was forced, then, to struggle with my feelings, just me and God; and because I experienced then how other people (including the ones on my pedestals) have flaws too. I realized that even if no one loves me, I still want to give love to others, because I believe in God and his message of love. I learned an incredible amount in my struggle, which was very tough when I was going through it, but for which I am very grateful afterwards. I learned to be driven by the love from God and not from people. But it's hard to struggle alone; so I'm glad that later on I experienced that I am indeed loved by many. Truly, we need each other.

I have found joy in my work for God, without depending on results

Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

It doesn't say, "Rejoice in the Lord when you see results from what you do.” It doesn't say, "Rejoice in the Lord when you perform well or when you succeed in what you do.” It says, "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.” So if we are to rejoice in the Lord always, our joy cannot have to do with results. It must have to do with the fact that we can be happy because God loves us no matter what happens, no matter what success we have or do not have. 

This past summer, I read my grandfather's diaries that he wrote in his youth, about 90 years ago. It felt like I was stepping into his life and being there. I read about when he fell in love with my grandmother and what a romantic he was. I read about how he got around half of Sweden on a bicycle. He was an impressive man with a big heart and great faith in God. All of his diaries were about his walk with God. It was like stepping straight into the Book of Acts. They had meetings in the church every other day and met with each other in their homes all the time. All the time, new people were coming to faith and being baptized.

Through what my grandfather wrote in his diaries, he was able to instill faith in me, 90 years later. So you never know about the work you do for God, living as a Christian among others, what impact it has on people. We may never see the results. So I think we can't go around expecting to see the results from everything we do and depend on that to feel happy. We can be happy if we live godly lives, and we may see the results of our efforts later, or someone else may see them later. No good work is in vain, I think. Love is never wasted.

And what we should ultimately find our joy in is that we are loved by God -- not in our achievements. It is the love of God that enables us to rejoice in the Lord always – the truth that we are ALWAYS, unconditionally loved by God.

About the Author

My name is Ulrika Sandström and I live in Stockholm, Sweden. I am 53 years old and have been a disciple for 32 years. I am married and we have two sons. Our oldest son is also a disciple and he recently got married. Our youngest son still lives at home. I love children, and even though my own children have grown up, I still get to spend time with small children as I work as a preschool teacher. I love to be creative with different things, like art, writing, making music and theatre. I enjoy spending time in God’s beautiful nature and I love taking photos. I also like to reflect on God’s word, on relationships and how to live life wisely and to the fullest.