Hindrances or Opportunities?

It would be an understatement if I said that “the Covid-19 lockdown period proved to be a major hindrance for many in the world to carry out productive activities.” Surely it has affected many organizations, companies and individuals in multiple ways. Especially for Christian communities, coming together and involving in fellowship, while learning from the sermons and teachings and similar experiences, must seem like a distant dream now. But for those who have a deep desire to grow, hindrances are seen as opportunities and here is a story to prove that.

The sisters leading the women in our family of churches in Kerala took the initiative to ensure that the women in the church used this opportunity to take their learning to another level. 

Usha Binoy, who currently leads the women in Kannur along with her husband, Binoy Philip, shared her metamorphic experience during this lockdown period and how it helped her to grow as a better individual and leader. 

Last year, while Usha was browsing through the messages on the church staff group, she noticed a forwarded web link (www.purityrestored.com) and went on to listen to a series of lessons by Dave Weidner and Robin Weidner. During the days that followed she could listen to topics such as Understanding Trauma: Healing Shame Through Grace, Transforming Grace: Power of Grace as Relates to Transforming Our Lives, Thriving Through Pandemic: Surrounded by God's Wraparound Presence, and Practical Grace: Experiencing God's Affirming Presence in Everyday Discipleship.

Understanding Trauma: Healing Shame Through Grace touched Usha very deeply as an individual and a woman following Christ. Many times, she had realized the existence of conflicting dual personalities within herself. She now realized how some unhealed past wounds surfaced and were triggered when rubbed in the wrong way during her daily interactions. This resulted in spontaneous negative and unwelcome behaviors. Now she was able to list out those sore wounds, which helped her to function with a sane mind. She took inspirations from the life of Jesus who had to go through tremendous mental trauma while on earth and assured herself that no one would understand her better than Him.  

Usha recalls gaining a new perspective on how to bring in change and how that had changed her completely. From shaming the old self, instilling fear, bringing in accountability, and putting in lots of effort, she suddenly realized the importance of grace. (Phil 1:9 Forgive one another, show grace in relationship.) 

Usha took active steps to internalize the messages. She repeatedly listened to the teachings, wrote down important points, analyzed her life and mission and let it all sink in.  

Today, she finds that the teaching has impacted her personal relationships in many ways. She is a calmer wife and is able to ask the right questions to her husband when he is troubled. She is conscious of her fears while dealing with her children and doesn’t allow it to take control of her parenting style. She has started to give them the space that they need to be themselves and help them to get connected to God. She has learned to apologize to them when required. 

Ripple Effect

Usha is actively passing on her learning about past trauma, and the importance of its healing, to other sisters in the church too. She helps them to write down their past experiences and talk about them. This in turn has helped many other women around her to take similar steps to learn from these lesson through the webinars they attend.

Sisters from across Kerala have started sharing on how they have grown in their awareness of trauma in their lives as a result of either abuse, addiction or abandonment. Like Usha, these sisters have come to a realization that these traumas could leave them broken, numb, and handicapped and how God’s affirming presence in everyday life can turn the table around for them and provide the relief God intended.

Many women took this one step forward and took the initiative to encourage one another and provided themselves a platform where they are able to share their deepest pain and shame they had been carrying for a long time. Now there are different groups among women of Kerala region, small groups of trusted people, where they feel safe. Here they find the safe space to be open about their struggles on a daily basis and share even the shame and fear they experience. Above all, this approach is helping build one to one relationships in a greater way. When they started embracing the true meaning of grace and truth, they began to enjoy freedom, joy and peace, which helps them hold deep and meaningful relationships. 

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
    for the ears of the wise seek it out. Proverbs 18:15