Quiet Times for Moms of Littles
Editor’s Note:
This is the fourteenth in a collection of spiritual reflections on the famous passage on Love in 1 Corinthians 13, written and compiled at the end of 2019. Two of our sisters in Christ – Jan Mitchell and Mary Shapiro (see their bios at the end of this article)– lead a group of young mothers and wanted to create a quiet time series for them on the theme of Love. This series is the fruit of that effort.
1 Corinthians 13:7
“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
"I can't do it." "I give up." "It's just too hard." "I don't want to do this anymore." "I'm DONE!"
These are phrases that I have said many, many times - if not out loud, at least in my head. Perseverance has never been my strong suit in areas where I have a choice. (2 notable examples of non-choice situations were childbirth and cancer!) Many times, I have wished for a stronger character in this area, for a non-quitting spirit. People who seem to thrive in tough situations have always fascinated me. I watch closely to see what makes them tick.
Perseverance - continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure or opposition; the quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult.
Synonyms:
Backbone, doggedness, fortitude, grit, persistence, tenacity, determination, resoluteness, resolve, steadfastness, stick-to-itiveness.
Do you see yourself in any of these descriptions?
As moms, we want to give our children the very best life can offer. We want to give them a happy life filled with good things, not with the challenges that we might have experienced or have heard about. The reality, though, is that we don't have control over most of what comes. As much as we may want life to be "rainbows and unicorns" for our babies, there are many difficulties to face. One of the best gifts we can give our children is to teach them to be strong in character and to be people who never give up.
How can we foster this sense of perseverance in our children? Maybe we should start with ourselves to make sure we are moms who model this strength. Should we pretend life is easy and act like we don't struggle? Of course not! Life comes with struggles, tears, frustrations, anxieties. What do we do with those? Do we take out those frustrations on things (i.e. slamming doors!), on people ("don't get in mama's way when she's mad!) or in other ungodly responses? Do our kids hear us speak of others with negative words or tones? Or do we push through and do the work of successfully facing challenges through prayer, confession, repentance and trying again until we get through the difficult time? Our kids are little sponges, soaking in our words, responses, actions and attitudes.
Many years ago, I knew a little 4-year-old who was having a tough day. She put her hand dramatically across her forehead and said, "I need a tranquilizer!" (Did I mention it was "many" years ago?) But the point is: Where would she have learned that response? She was FOUR and already learning how to opt out!!
Next, what do I expect from my children? Do I finish things for them because it's easier that way? Do I let them off the hook at the first whimper of complaint, or "It's too hard?" We can lovingly, patiently guide them to success and the satisfaction of knowing, "with God, I did it!" How often have we heard the phrase, "nothing of value comes easily?" It's tempting to take the easy way out but that doesn't build the character that will help any of us finish the race.
Paul says it is through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. (Romans 15:1-3) How are we doing in our endurance? Are we continually going to God's Word for hope and help to stay strong?
James has some things to say about the joy of facing trials, our faith being tested and developing perseverance. (1:2-3)
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything! (1:4)
James 1:12 states:
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Hebrews recounts some terrifying examples of suffering, being insulted and persecuted. We don't like to think of those as possibilities but the truth is that, in choosing to be a disciple of Jesus, there will be suffering and persecution. Actually, it is part of life. Would we rather face suffering and hard times with or without Jesus? We need to be prepared for whatever comes. Just over a year ago, I doubt any of us would have considered a complete quarantine, the world shutting down, as even a remote possibility. But guess what? It happened. How have we responded to the test? We know it hasn't been easy, but how does our past year compare to the suffering of our early brothers and sisters? Would we be able to "stand our ground in a great contest in the face of suffering?" (Heb.10:12) "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." (Heb. 10:36)
Let's give our children a gift! The gift of knowing that God will give them strength and the greatest reward (heaven!) when we demonstrate our love for Him by being strong enough to never, never, never give up. No matter what. The rewards are eternal!
Questions for Thought and Discussion:
1. What is my typical response to difficulties?
2. What are the areas where I tend to jump in and "rescue" others, including my children?
3. What are some practical ways I can teach my children to be strong, persevering and faithful?
4. What scripture will I memorize and keep on my heart to instruct me when I feel like giving up on something?
Other Scriptures to Ponder:
Romans 5:3-5
Phil. 3:12-14
2 Cor. 4:16,17
Jude 1:21
Heb. 6:11
2 Tim. 4:7
Additional Material:
Terri Nida recently wrote a blog post entitled, "Go in the Strength You Have." It's about Perseverance! You can read it here!
https://diaryofaquadriplegic.com/2021/03/23/go-in-the-strength-you-have/
Jan Mitchell : Jan has been a disciple for over 40 years. She and her husband, Mitch, have been married for 43 years, been on staff at 6 different churches, have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. She is a die-hard Wolfpack fan, and enjoys spending time teaching and training, traveling and playing outside with their grandchildren. She currently lives in the greater Raleigh, NC area.
Dr. Mary Shapiro is currently the Director of the ADHD Clinic at Duke Medical School's Southern Regional Area Health Education Center in Fayetteville, North Carolina, where she specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD, behavior disorders, and other childhood conditions. For the 30 years prior to moving to North Carolina, she and her husband, Dr. Michael Shapiro, were in private practice in Athens, Georgia, where they served children and adults in predominately rural and underserved areas. She completed her PhD in Educational Psychology at the University of Georgia in 1984 and interned in the Department of Neurology at the Medical College of Georgia. She and her husband have lectured extensively (both domestically and abroad) on topics related to child psychology, parenting, marriage, adoption, and mental health issues in a Christian context. They have authored two publications for Discipleship Press International; “Rejoice Always: A Manual for Christians Facing Emotional Challenges” and “Understanding Sexual Behavior in Children: How to be Proactive in Educating and Protecting your Children.
1 Comments
Dec 4, 2021, 12:30:37 AM
Suman - Would like to receive daily portion