Editor’s Note:
This is the fifth in a collection of spiritual reflections especially for moms of small children on the famous Scripture on Love in 1 Corinthians 13 – perhaps these are the most often quoted verses in the Bible. This series was written and compiled at the end of 2019 by two of our sisters in Christ – Jan Mitchell and Mary Shapiro (see their bios at the end of this article), who lead a group of young mothers in church and wanted to create a quiet time series for them on the theme of Love. This series is the fruit of that effort.
1 Corinthians 13: 4
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
When I think of Pride, these words come to mind: Stubborn, arrogant, insensitive, thick-headed, unbendable, quick-tempered, rude. The opposite of Pride is Humility, and that is what we should all strive for. When you’re trying to overcome a particular sin, you should focus on the opposite of that quality.
I believe there are two main kinds of Pride: “Outward” and “Inward.”
“Outward Pride” is the obvious pride that you can see clearly. The stubbornness, defiant kind, like when your kids say “NO!” and stomp out of the room.
“Inward Pride” is more subtle and harder to see. It’s when your kid is smiling and agreeing to what you’re saying, but then goes and does whatever they want to do. It’s more deceitful and easier to get away with.
Sin is that way—there are obvious sinners and subtle sinners. I believe the latter one is harder to see and overcome. Figure out which is your dominant Pride...obvious or subtle.
We all have some type of Pride in us. There’s a good kind of Pride in the sense of being proud of one’s accomplishments or those we love. We’re proud of our kids and who they’re becoming or what they’ve become.
For me, I’m proud of Mariah and the young woman she’s grown up to be. She’s responsible, has a great job, loves her family and others deeply, and is a loyal friend to so many. I’m proud of Jordan and the ways he serves and protects his community in a day and age where being a police officer is not looked on favorably. There are a lot of great officers out there protecting you even when you don’t know it.
Love is patient, pride is quick...quick to judge and not listen to the other side. One thing I’ve learned in life is that you always have to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Talk to them, ask questions. Our kids need to learn this lesson as they’re growing up because their feelings will get hurt as they progress through school and life. Tell them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and imagine how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking.
As a new “grandma,” I’m learning a lot about my pride with Jordan and Sarah. Being the mother-in-law of the mom is a little different than being the mom. I’ve had to learn my boundaries with Sarah and how I help them when I’m there. When I first started helping them with Nico, my adorable grandson, I thought I could just go in and do things as I normally would at home...laundry, cook, tell them how to take care of a baby, etc. I’ve had to swallow my pride and learn to ask questions and respect their wishes and wants. It’s been hard to do, but our relationship has grown stronger because of it. Communication and humility are the key!
As young mothers, be sure to communicate clearly with your parents and in-laws your expectations. Don’t assume or hold things in and ALWAYS give the benefit of the doubt. I’m going to leave you with some scriptures on pride and humility to reflect on this week. Thanks for the opportunity to share with you a little bit of my world.
What is PRIDE?
- Absence of Humility
- Pride is being SELF-ish
- Thinking excessively about SELF
- Pride’s base is too much SELF-love
- Thinking the worth of our SELF is higher than it actually is
- SELF-worship
- Preoccupation with our image or SELF
- Pride is narcissism (in love with our image or SELF)
- Pride is SELF-centered or EGO-centric (everything revolves around us) Pride wants to keep the focus on SELF
- SELF-ness
Daniel 5: 20
“But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory.”
Jeremiah 9:23
“This is what the Lord says: ‘Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches…’”
Psalm 10:4
“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”
Proverbs 8:13
“To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.”
Proverbs 11:2
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom”
Proverbs 13:10
“Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”
Proverbs 16:5
“The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.”
Proverbs 16:18
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 18:12
“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.”
Proverbs 21:4
“Haughty eyes and a proud heart—the unplowed field of the wicked—produce sin.”
Proverbs 29:23 (KJV)
“A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.”
Isaiah 2:12
“The LORD Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled).”
Matthew 23:12 (HCSB)
“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.”
Romans 12:3
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”
Romans 12:16
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”
Galatians 6:4
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else”
Philippians 2:3
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
James 4:6
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:10
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”
1 Peter 5:5
“...clothe yourself with humility...”
What is HUMILITY?
The opposite of Pride
SYNONYMS FOR HUMBLE:
unpretending, unpretentious, deferential, meek, unassuming, plain, common, poor, polite, mortify, shame, abash, subdue, crush, break
ANTONYMS FOR HUMBLE:
proud, noble, exalted, rude, insolent, elevate, exalt
The scary thing about Pride is that you don’t really notice it until someone else points it out. But that’s exactly what Pride is like. It is so busy looking out at others' wrongs that it distracts from addressing its own.
I found this article on Pride and thought it was really good! It’s got a lot of meat to it and is worth the read.
Jan Mitchell : Jan has been a disciple for over 40 years. She and her husband, Mitch, have been married for 43 years, been on staff at 6 different churches, have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. She is a die-hard Wolfpack fan, and enjoys spending time teaching and training, traveling and playing outside with their grandchildren. She currently lives in the greater Raleigh, NC area.
Dr. Mary Shapiro is currently the Director of the ADHD Clinic at Duke Medical School's Southern Regional Area Health Education Center in Fayetteville, North Carolina, where she specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD, behavior disorders, and other childhood conditions. For the 30 years prior to moving to North Carolina, she and her husband, Dr. Michael Shapiro, were in private practice in Athens, Georgia, where they served children and adults in predominately rural and underserved areas. She completed her PhD in Educational Psychology at the University of Georgia in 1984 and interned in the Department of Neurology at the Medical College of Georgia. She and her husband have lectured extensively (both domestically and abroad) on topics related to child psychology, parenting, marriage, adoption, and mental health issues in a Christian context. They have authored two publications for Discipleship Press International; “Rejoice Always: A Manual for Christians Facing Emotional Challenges” and “Understanding Sexual Behavior in Children: How to be Proactive in Educating and Protecting your Children.
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