Soul Sisters

By Virginia Bahula

Supporting those faithful wives in the Sydney Church of Christ when their husbands don't

Just as Jesus suffered unjustly and quietly, as he went to the cross (1 Peter 2:21-25) we married women are instructed to "accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives”  (1 Peter 3: 1-2).

This was our theme passage when we started the Soul Sisters group in the Sydney Church of Christ in February 2018.

Who are the Soul Sisters?

The Soul Sisters is a group of women in the Church whose spouses/previous spouses are not disciples. They are women whose husbands have turned away from God or whose husbands have not been baptised. Hence they are alone (Sole), but banded together by their love for Jesus (Sisters).

Two Deacons' wives lead this group, offering support to women in similar situations. These women may occasionally experience feelings of marginalization, especially during events like marriage retreats, marriage and parenting classes, and teen parent devotionals. At times, they may wrestle with a sense of being less valued within the Church, as they aspire to have both parents actively raising their family as disciples together.

At times, these women may experience loneliness, discouragement, and frustration as they navigate the path of faithfulness and endeavour to model their lives after Jesus while raising their children with the goal of nurturing them into disciples. It can be disheartening when they've strived to marry a godly man, only to see him later turn away from their shared faith. Some even encounter resistance from their spouses in pursuit of these noble objectives, adding further challenges to their journey.

1 Corinthians 12 teaches us that every part of Christ’s body (the Church) is valuable and special. In fact, the parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. God calls us to show extra honour and care to those who need it so that all members care for each other. That is the goal of the Soul Sisters group—to be able to strengthen and support this special group of women who are fighting so hard to do what is right and to encourage them to continue to grow in their faith and imitation of Christ. They do indeed merit special honour and care!

How do we support them?

Since the Soul Sisters are a small group of around a dozen, we are able to make many opportunities for them to meet together. They are a very loving group of women, quick to share encouragement and birthday greetings in our WhatsApp group. Over the years, we've cherished moments of fellowship and have been enriched by lessons taught by various women. These instructors have included both current Soul Sisters and women who were once in similar situations but whose husbands have since embraced discipleship. In fact, two of our previous Soul Sisters experienced the wonderful miracle of seeing their husbands repent and turn to God!

Expanding beyond Sydney

Last year, we were blessed to have a class taught by Lynne Greene in the U.S. over Zoom. We were also joined by a wider group of sisters from some of the other churches in the SPA region. (It was just too good an opportunity to keep it to ourselves.) It was so inspiring and provided an opportunity for some very vulnerable and heartfelt sharing, as well as a chance to seek some advice on some challenging life situations.  

The Soul Sisters had the wonderful opportunity to gather in person with other women facing similar life situations during our SPA conference in Gold Coast in July 2023. What a fantastic time of fellowship we had! This is a photo of some of us taken there. 

It reminded me of 1 Peter 5:9b: “Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.” Reuniting with old friends and forging new connections in such a vibrant atmosphere was truly uplifting and encouraging.

One of the benefits of having Deacons’ wives involved is that it facilitates bringing the needs of these women to the attention of the Church leadership. As a result, at the Church retreat this year, they included one of the women with a non-disciple ex-spouse to form part of a panel that taught one of the classes. In this way, our sister was able to advocate for specific ways that we can be more inclusive, loving and encouraging for disciples in these types of situations. So many were touched by her personal sharing and spurred on to love and good deeds. We have also had other Soul Sisters included in panels at women’s events and classes, and their sharing is inspiring for women from all walks of life. 

Our Soul Sisters group may be small in a congregation teeming with Campus students, working singles, and families of diverse ages and stages. However, it's important to recognize that there are countless women all around us who are grappling with the challenge of balancing work, raising a family, and seeking God's guidance without the support of a spouse. We should treasure our Soul Sisters not only for their own unique qualities but also for their role as a compassionate and empathetic community that welcomes other sisters who are still navigating the world's challenges.

Author Bio

Virginia Bahula became a disciple in her teens in the Toronto Church of Christ in 1987. She and her husband along with their daughter now live in Sydney Australia, where they serve as deacons in the South Region.