Growth With And Without Anxiety

by Ellen Faller

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5–7)

In the passage above, God commands us not to be anxious about anything. Rather, we are to submit all our requests to him by prayer and petition, trusting that he will take care of us. But is that humanly possible? The answer is yes, because God never commands us to do the impossible. 

As one who has struggled much and continues to struggle with anxiety, I can see that the issue is myself. When I trust God and rely on his strength, daily, I can overcome anxiety. When I rely on my own strength and abilities, anxiety overcomes me. To help us develop the ability to overcome anxiety, let us explore four areas of anxiety as it relates to our spiritual growth:

1. The paradox of anxiety and growth.
2. The patterns of anxiety in our lives.
3. Anxiety as the antithesis of faith.
4. Anxiety as an invitation to grow.

Let us begin by defining the topic of anxiety. Most of us are familiar with feelings of anxiety, though it may be difficult to explain them. Webster’s dictionary describes anxiety as “a painful uneasiness of the mind with regards to impending or anticipated ill, circumstance or situation.” So, anxiety is a state of mind, an internal alarm warning us of an upcoming inability to deal with a stress-producing unknown.

The Bible never defines anxiety: it equates it with worry. The scriptures, however, have much to say about the opposite of being anxious: peace, joy, faith, contentment, confidence and composure and self-control. If you struggle from time to time with maintaining those qualities, then doubtless you are a victim of anxiety, just like me.

The two most common causes of anxiety are fear and laziness. Fear is so widespread that we can easily misinterpret it for anxiety. It is prevalent in our relationships with other people: timidity, conflict avoidance, fear of rejection or persecution, fear of being tied down, fear of one’s true self being known, fear of challenge, etc. Also, in our relationship with God: insecurity, lack of confidence, a feeling of inadequacy, discontentment, and fear of non-performance, etc.

Laziness produces anxiety by causing a conflict to arise between what we know we should do and what we are doing. How many of us have arrived at an appointment anxious, out of breath and late because we were lazy and kept hitting the snooze button? Laziness can also stop us from dealing with sin or reaching out to the lost, setting us up for the anxiety of guilt and the frustration of unfulfilled purpose.

External pressures and circumstances beyond our control are other sources of anxiety. How do you react when a family member dies, your car breaks down on the way to work or you have to decide between two equally appealing alternatives (Which dress should I buy? Which meal should I order?)? Clearly there are many stress-producing factors surrounding us in everyday life, and we cannot escape the temptation to be anxious. As Christians, however, we can learn to cope with stress in a positive and productive way without anxiety. Asking advice of someone we trust to give us God’s solution is one easy solution.

The Paradox of Anxiety and Growth

In the extreme case, feelings of anxiety may paralyze us from acting rationally. When acted upon and not reacted upon, however, they can be tremendous stimulators of growth. Here we have the paradox of anxiety and growth. If we choose to walk by sight and not by faith, anxiety may completely inhibit our spiritual growth. If we choose to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), anxiety can motivate and compel us to grow.

Spiritual growth is measured by developing maturity, becoming more like Christ (Ephesians 4:16). Because each anxiety-producing situation gives us an opportunity to walk by faith as Jesus did, anxiety can promote faith and growth. Feelings of anxiety serve us spiritually in the same way that disease symptoms serve us physically. They are warning signs indicating that action is needed. If a person acts after recognizing symptoms of an illness, like getting rest when you catch a cold, there is likely to be no chance of pneumonia. Likewise, when a Christian recognizes increased anxiety, if she acts in faith and turns to prayer, she will grow. God loves each person uniquely; He knows what we need to grow in our faith in Him. He allows whatever challenge we experience and works with us to help us grow. “All things work together for good.”

“In Me you May Have Peace”

Let us examine the example of Jesus as it relates to anxiety. 1 Peter 2:21 tells us that “Christ suffered for us, leaving an example for us to follow.” What kind of example would you have been if you had had the kind of stressful days Jesus lived in Mark, chapters one, six, and Luke chapter eight? Christ must have been tempted to be anxious many times as he was constantly hemmed in by the pressing demands of the multitudes. Persecution, insults, and rejection followed him everywhere. He had the most monumental task in history to complete with only three short years to do it. He had to suffer and die for crimes he never committed. Yet Jesus never lost his composure as He shared the truth of God with the crowds. He was able to tell you and me, “In me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world” (John16:33).

If we follow Christ’s example, we will be able to find the same freedom from anxiety that he did. His promise in Matthew 11:28-30 still holds true for us today: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus understood anxiety, better than any of us. Hebrews 2:17-18 records that “He had to be made like us, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was temped, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

Because of that fact, Jesus can show us how to overcome anxiety. Victory in this area is both a matter of trust and faith and a matter of action to be obedient to God. In Hebrews 5:7-9, the Bible states that Jesus offered up prayers and petitions to the one who could save him but that he learned obedience through suffering. I believe that the attitude of Christ in the garden of Gethsemane is the ultimate example for us of overcoming anxiety. The stress he experienced at that time was far greater than any of us can imagine but he did not give in to it. Instead, he prayed himself into submission to the will of God.

Note that both Hebrews 2:10 and 5:9 refer to Christ as having been made perfect. But how could he have been made more perfect than he already was? The Greek word for perfect may also be translated as complete or mature. Christ showed his spiritual maturity by submitting himself to God’s will even in the toughest situations and thereby exhibiting growth. When we follow his example in overcoming anxiety, we too will experience great growth.

Pat Gempel recently confided to me that she has struggled with anxiety all her life. I was amazed for I would never have known it by observing her actions and speech. Her life represents Christ to the world, no matter what internal battles she is having. She has decided to follow Christ’s example of praying herself into submission to God’s will in every circumstance. Thus, she acts on faith instead of reacting to anxiety. She is not perfect in overcoming anxiety, but she has given me the confidence to know that growth despite anxiety is indeed possible.

Patterns of Anxiety

Achieving any goal involves defining its beginning and end points, then developing a plan for progressing from one to the other. It is therefore important to understand the patterns of anxiety in our individual lives so that we can know from where we are starting and have a sober estimate of our spiritual condition (Romans 12:3).

Expressions of Anxiety 

We express anxiety in two general ways: internally and externally. Internal manifestations are self-destructive. We withdraw to avoid anxiety-producing situations, thinking we can escape from or compensate for anxiety without solving its underlying problems. The result is the creation of additional anxiety. 

For example, you may become depressed and frustrated at your inability to lose weight. You forget about it for a day and binge. The next morning you must face anxiety plus two additional pounds. Perhaps you deal with anxiety by indulging in some sort of sexual gratification, such as masturbation. Or by watching TV all night, or chewing your fingernails down to the quick, or oversleeping. Since such behaviors are not productive, godly, or acceptable to Christ, they are not appropriate ways for a Christian to deal with anxiety. Neither do they work. Instead, they pull us into vicious cycles which are difficult to break. 

The inability to cope with anxiety internally often leads us to express it externally in anger, fits of rage, impatience, and blame-shifting. In Matthew 16:22, Peter became anxious and unable to cope with the knowledge that Jesus was going to the cross and that, as Jesus’ disciple, he must follow. He vented his anxiety in anger against Jesus. 

Anxiety led Adam to try to shift responsibility for his sin onto Eve in Genesis 3:12. In the same way, Eve tried to blame the serpent for her sin (verse 13). The two were afraid of God after their deliberate disobedience and therefore anxious about its future consequences. Blame-shifting also occurs in a subtle way in some forms of mental illness or when a person gives up on himself. We relinquish responsibility for our own actions and claim, “It’s society’s fault, not mine.” 

Anxiety in Our Relationship with God 

Do you feel unfulfilled in your relationship with God? Are you insecure, afraid, or distant in that relationship? Do pangs of guilt grab you when you pray? If your answer is yes to any of those questions, you are likely experiencing anxiety in your relationship with God. 

When we sin or are inconsistent with God, anxiety results. Laziness, emotionalism or too many activities may be crowding quality time with God out of your life. You begin to feel anxious and guilty about your lack of commitment. You grow distant from God because you can’t know someone with whom you don’t spend time. Discontent and the feeling of unfulfillment start creeping in because you think God is not meeting your needs, when, in reality, you are not letting him. The pattern of anxiety paralyzes you so that you feel increasingly unworthy to come before him in prayer. You start to doubt God’s ability to love you as you are and think that he could never use someone like you. You stop sharing your faith because you’ve lost everything you once had to give. 

Undealt-with sin can bring on that pattern of anxiety. Psalm 38 records David experiencing it after his sin with Bathsheba. David’s restoration of his relationship with God in Psalm 51 proves it doesn’t have to be that way. 

Anxiety in Our Relationships with Others 

Anxiety in our human relationships is nearly as devastating as anxiety in our relationship with God. This is because we are afraid to be known or hurt. For example, when I was expected to complete this chapter of this book in a given amount of time, I found myself being deceptive about whether it was completed and avoiding the person to whom it was to be given. I was afraid to reveal my true self, fearing I would disappoint people and lose credit in their eyes. 

However, I found that the less upfront I was with people, the worse I did spiritually. My fears turned out to be unfounded. I was accepted and loved for who I am, not for what I could produce. If I had been honest from the beginning about what I was really feeling and thinking, it would have been easier for me. Increased anxiety made it doubly difficult for me to write. Check your own life. Do you ever find yourself playing a role because you desire approval and acceptance? Anxiety in our relationships comes from worrying too much about what others think of us instead of seeking approval from God (1 Thessalonians 2:4). 

Wanting all our relationships to progress smoothly without any conflict or struggle also sets us up for an anxiety attack. When expectation and perceptions differ between two people, conflicts are bound to arise. For example, I served in the ministry with a highly talented sister who was living a mediocre Christian life. When she didn’t fulfill my expectations, I became frustrated and angry. Instead of helping her through the changes she needed to make, I grew increasingly independent of her. 

The productive way of dealing with anxiety in a relationship is to take responsibility for the changes that need to be made. Paul, like Christ, had a deep concern for people, but it led him to take positive action, not to a negative reaction. 

Anxiety in Our Responsibilities

Any undealt-with responsibility or unfulfilled obligation creates pressure and can lead to anxiety. This is true from the smallest task, like unmade beds or unwashed laundry, to the largest, like not completing an important project on time. The source of the anxiety is a lack of discipline and/or organization. 

Punctuality is a responsibility we all have as Christians, one that can produce anxiety if we don’t plan well. One day last week I didn’t leave early enough for a meeting at work and found myself stuck in the worst traffic jam I’d seen in a long time. It soon became apparent I would be late. I had a hard time fighting the anxiety I felt. My mind went through a range of emotions -- impatience, frustration, anger, fear, guilt -- before I realized that this was an external pressure I couldn’t change. I resolved to make the best of it and leave earlier next time. 

If we immediately correct a problem in discipline, we will avoid much anxiety. If we leave it unchecked, sloppiness, lateness or irresponsibility will steal our joy of being a disciple. “Act NOW” is my motto. When you see something that needs to be done, do it. When you receive a long-term project, start it immediately, set goals to pace yourself and plan to finish it early. 

Anxiety: The Antithesis of Faith 

Why God Allows Anxiety 

It may be difficult for you to understand why a loving, providential God allows you to be anxious. God certainly has the power to make us completely peaceful but that would be contrary to the way he works in our lives. The Lord uses anxiety as an acid test of our faith and as an opportunity for us to grow spiritually. Anxiety forces us to decide who we will rely on, ourselves or God. 

In 2 Corinthians 1:9, Paul relates that the pressure he was under in the province of Asia was “far beyond his ability to endure.” However, he understood that God allowed it to happen so that he “might not rely on himself but on God who raises the dead.” 

I doubt we can relate to the sufferings Paul endured (2 Corinthians 6:4–10). Yet he remained confident and calm, realizing that,

“…we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. “ (2 Corinthians 4:7–12)

Paul understood that faith was God’s answer to anxiety.

Learning to Pray

We do have a choice: either to overcome anxiety or be overcome by it. Victory begins with learning to pray as never before, then acting upon those prayers with trust and obedience to God. Consider these verses:

• Proverbs 3:5–6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
• Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
• James 1:5–8: “But if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

Prayer takes faith (Mark 11:24, Luke 18:1–8) and humility before God (1 Peter 5:6–7). It takes time to learn but is the key to overcoming anxiety. 

Anxiety: An Invitation to Grow 

Here are five practical ways we can learn to trust God to overcome our anxiety and grow in faith:

1. Develop your relationship with God. Take time to pray, study and meditate daily. Keep a godly, prayerful focus throughout the day, striving to walk with Jesus wherever you go. Cultivate godly confidence, resulting from knowing your competence comes from the Lord, not yourself, 2 Corinthians 3:4–5. Realize that God can use you to the extent of your faith and that you have no reason to feel inadequate. Study the examples of Moses, Gideon, Isaiah, and Jeremiah if you doubt that is true. Learn to identify your anxieties and let God handle them through your prayers (Philippians 4:5–7). Jesus was at peace with his decision because he spent much time in prayer. Luke 6:12 records that he spent an entire night praying about the choice of his twelve apostles. Prayer allows us to make calm, confident decisions.

   Anxiety will either cause us to draw closer to God or turn away from Him in bitterness, disappointment, and despair.

2. Learn to take things one day at a time like Christ did. This will facilitate our peace of mind. Jesus didn’t see the crowd as “all these people to deal with” or places to go as “too many appointments to keep.” He dealt with people as individuals and with appointments as they came. When crowds were pressing him in Luke 8, he took time to give a bleeding woman the personal attention needed. We need to prioritize the demands of our day and meet each need before going to the next. When I take things one at a time, it is easy to give my best to each person and trust God will work through me to accomplish his purpose. We need to consciously take time to rest, exercise, be alone, do household chores and have fun with others. Jesus showed us what a busy but balanced schedule looks like in Mark 6. He called his disciples to “come away with me to a quiet place and get some rest,” but he was compassionate and flexible enough to feed the 5,000 when the need arose. From my own life, I can see how important it is to get exercise. Exercise is a method of stress reduction. Even the Bible says that “…physical training is of some value….” 1 Timothy 4:8.

3. Deal decisively with sin. Jesus was able to be perfectly at peace because he was perfectly obedient to God. John 8:29 says “I always do what pleases him.” 2 Corinthians 7:1 teaches to strive for perfection out of reverence for God. The man struggling with sin in Romans 7 must have been miserable. Far too often I hear myself and others say: “for I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing” ! (verse 19.)

   James 5:16 tells us we must admit our sins to God and other Christians to overcome them and be healed.

4. Learn to be content. Women are especially prone to lack of contentment. We should take Paul’s admonition in Philippians 4:11–13 to learn to be content whatever the situation. We should concentrate on the positive (Philippians 4:8–9), rejoice in our trials (Romans 5:3, James 1:2–3) and be thankful in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). As a young Christian, I was discontent about not having a husband. I went through several relationships, hoping each man would be “the one.” Ironically, it wasn’t until I became content with being single, that God blessed me with a long-lasting relationship. We can trust God. He knows what we need. Some may never marry. Some may never have much money. Others will be ill. That doesn’t mean the Lord has forsaken us. He works all things together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).
5. Develop strong relationships in the church. Be real and share your life with others. You will become like the people you spend time with (Luke 9:39–40). Choose some strong people to be your close friends. Stick with them as you give to others. Be willing to challenge and accept challenges without losing the love and loyalty of a friendship.

The question remains: is growth without anxiety possible? I would like to think so, but the truth is, I have yet to find a person who doesn’t have to deal with anxiety from time to time. One thing is certain: growth with anxiety is a reality. Our spiritual growth depends on how much we are willing to pray and act in faith, despite our anxious feelings.