Chapter 1

The Message of the Cross and My Response                            

   by Irene McDonnell Gifford

           “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us

                      who are being saved it is the power of God.” (I Corinthians 1:18)

As I traveled through the cities of Europe during the spring of 1978, I can still remember staring out the train window thinking about my life. The past seven months had been difficult and lonely and full of tears. Where was I going? What was my purpose in life? Why, after years of anticipation, did this trip abroad mean so little to me? I felt unloved and unneeded -- a stranger in a strange land.

It was during those bleak months in Europe that I opened the Bible and began to study about Christ. I was looking for hope, and with much anguish, I prayed to God to bring me out of the darkness and gloom I felt all around me.

I returned to New York in May and continued my search for truth and happiness. One and a half years later, I found the answers I sought by studying the scriptures and seeing them carried out in the lives of Christians. Even though I had been searching for a long time, my decision for Christ wasn’t easy. The night before my baptism, I sat in front of a fireplace counting the costs in my mind. I loved to do what I wanted, and I thought about how hard it would be to give up my time for God and others. I realized that my thoughts were selfish and that there was really no cost at all.  Jesus had died on the cross for me so that I could know God and live with him eternally. What could be greater in this life than knowing you are at peace with God and having him continually guiding and helping you? And what a great joy and privilege it is to help others know him. I made my commitment to God and was baptized in Boston on November 18, 1979.

2 Corinthians 5:18, 19 reads: “All this is from God, who reconciled the world to himself through Christ and gave us the message of reconciliation: That God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

Why did Jesus have to die? Hebrews 9:22 explains that without the shedding of His blood there could be no forgiveness of our sin (and we all sin).  That was the plan God had made and implemented throughout the Old and New Testaments. If Jesus had not died, we would have to die because of our sin, but Jesus took our place and died once for all (1 Peter 3:18). Christ lived a sinless life and became sin for us, thus breaking down the barrier between man and God caused by sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). Each of us has been given a choice about how to respond to Christ’s death on the cross. It is our individual responsibility. Several of those responses will now be discussed:

1) submitting to God’s will, 2) suffering for his name and 3) being saved through his grace.

SUBMITTING TO GOD’S WILL

While growing up, I saw paintings of Jesus on the cross but did not think too much about them. At that time, his death had little meaning for me. I took for granted the pain he went through and was ignorant of the fact that Jesus did not want to go to the cross. Matthew 26:36-46 shows the true picture. Christ spent the night before his crucifixion in the garden of Gethsemane with his disciples. He was deeply troubled and took his closest friends, Peter, James, and John, with him to pray. He fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as your will be done.” Jesus did not want to suffer and die a brutal death. His prayer expressed the anguish he felt. His emotions fought against his mind, saying “No, I don’t want to do this!” But He did not allow his emotion to control his actions. Struggling with God to somehow change the situation, he yet humbled himself completely and said, “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

That passage shows the humanity and strength of Christ. He was alone. Even his closest friends had failed him when he needed them most, but he still did not give up. He prayed a second time. “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” Notice the change in his request. Through struggling with God in prayer, Jesus learned obedience. After his third prayer, he said to his disciples, “Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” His need for and reliance upon God were clearly demonstrated. 

Christ’s example shows us that we too can become submissive to God if we are willing to take the time to struggle in prayer. I have seen how that process works in my own life. During my difficult months in Europe, I had studied French language and literature. When I became a Christian, I hoped God would use my language skills and my love for France. In August of 1981, I decided to become part of the mission team to Paris, France. Initially I was extremely excited about my decision, but later I began to be afraid of moving to a foreign country and leaving the friends and church I had grown to love so much. After every missions meeting, I would cry and pray to God to change his will so that I could not go.

It was through those hours of prayer that God helped me submit to his will. I had to reflect upon how God had blessed me in every struggle and sacrifice. Last summer I spent two weeks in Paris, an experience that God used to give me vision for a future life there. I made friends with a few French people then; since that time we have been building our friendship. That has brought me much joy and given me a ministry in Paris even before I move! I am looking forward to the challenge ahead because I know God will do remarkable things in that beautiful city. 

Not only does God help us to submit to him through prayer, but he also works through other people around us. By being open with our needs and thoughts, God can use others to help us deal with our struggles. In the garden, Jesus was open with his disciples and told them how he felt. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me,” he said in Matthew 26:38. Jesus did not allow pride to prevent him from voicing his deepest emotions. He VERBALLY appealed to his disciples for their support. They deserted him. He did God’s will anyway.

Communicating personal needs is an area in my life that is changing because of Christ’s example. I used to expect others to be aware of my needs and feelings without my telling them. Of course, people were not always sensitive, so I was hurt when my needs were not met. God used a close friend to tell me I was not open about my feelings, and I should change to become so. That was hard to do. I have always had a difficult time getting close to people and being a friend. Learning how to communicate my thoughts with others was a struggle. I became intentional about opening up my heart and life to a few friends.

Having close friends that know and love me is now an immense joy in my life. Recently I was struggling with a particular sin that I shared with a few of my close friends. God used them to encourage me to be more serious about it. They gave me hope and vision that I could overcome. I have come to view the times of weakness and need in my life as opportunities to draw closer to God and instruct others in Christlike ways of handling problems. Open and trusting relationships have been essential in helping me to have Jesus’ attitude of submission to God.

SUFFERING FOR HIS NAME

Paul’s response to the cross was one of wholehearted devotion. Before his encounter with Christ, Paul was a very zealous Jew, known for persecuting Christians. From the outset of his conversion, he became the one who was severely persecuted. In prison for preaching the gospel of Christ, he wrote a letter to the church at Philippi, teaching them and us today that his priority was to know Christ.

Philippians 3:7, 8 reads: “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I now consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my LORD, for whose sake I have lost all things.”

Why did Paul consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ? He appreciated being forgiven of his sins and embraced the new life Christ offered him without looking back. He understood the message of the cross.

Throughout his Christian life, Paul constantly endured all kinds of hardships, beatings, sleepless nights, and persecutions (2 Corinthians 6:3-13). Yet through all of that, his attitude remained positive, a great challenge for me. Two years ago, I became very close to three friends and studied the Bible with them. One after the other, each decided they didn’t want to obey God.

That really hurt. I felt like I had been personally rejected, and it robbed me of my joy. But I prayed and prayed, and God blessed me with new friends who did want to learn about God. Through my suffering for my friends, I could relate to the suffering that Jesus and Paul experienced when their friends rejected God’s teaching. Christ’s suffering on our behalf is the most significant act of love ever expressed. Paul realized that love and loved Jesus’ back by being willing to suffer for him. Philippians 3: 10,11 reads: “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

Paul desired the fellowship of sharing in Christ’s sufferings. How hard that is to imitate! Very few of us want to suffer. But Paul wanted to know every aspect of Christ, including his suffering. Paul regarded suffering as a positive thing rather than considering it negative as most of us do.

When I think of suffering for the name of Christ, I think of agonizing in prayer over those close to me. I often spend late nights praying for others because my relationships are a major concern in my life. One sister and I had a difficult time in our relationship. The tension grew to where I didn’t want to be near her anymore. Once we both decided to open up and deal with our sins, things began to change. Today that sister is one of my closest friends. But it took suffering. Sometimes those around me don’t appreciate the time and effort spent with them and that hurts, often making me feel alone. But I realized that is suffering for his name and is nothing compared to the suffering Jesus went through for me.

SAVED THROUGH HIS GRACE

At Golgotha, Jesus hung on the cross between two thieves. One believed Jesus had the power to save and the other did not. Though both deserved to die, the first thief was saved through his faith in Christ. He recognized his need for God, saw himself as he really was and rebuked the other criminal for his insult. “Don’t you fear God, “he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” (Luke 23:40-41). The thief acknowledges the authority of Christ and initiated with him, saying, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:42-43). Reconciliation with God is based on his grace. The thief knew he deserved death, but Christ saved him by grace. Ephesians 2:8,9 teaches us that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith --  and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God --  not by works, so that no one can boast.” There is a direct relationship between our faith and our salvation. The thief would not have been saved had he not shown his faith.

On earth, Christ had the power to forgive sins. After his death and resurrection, a person receives forgiveness of sin by meeting Christ’s blood through the waters of baptism, a participation in his death, burial, and resurrection through our faith. “We are therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” (Romans 6:4) The key to dying to our old life and being raised as a new creation is our faith in the power of God to help us change to be like Christ for the rest of our lives (Colossians 2:12).

One of the most rewarding aspects of my Christian life is seeing the changes God brings about within me. Before I was a Christian, I was very insecure and didn’t like myself. Lacking inner peace and confidence, I poured my time into developing my talents so that I might make myself worth something. This created a great deal of anxiety within me because I was never satisfied with myself. God has since blessed me tremendously in that area. I am less anxious and calmer. It is exciting to be able to look people in the eye when I talk to them and to know I have something to give them. I attribute those changes to God’s power working in my life through his Word, prayer, and the relationships he has given me in the church.

Once we are in a right relationship with God, it is our responsibility to maintain and nurture that special relationship. Understanding the message of love Jesus expressed in his death on the cross will draw us to him and motivate us to strive to please him (2 Corinthians 5:14). When we come into the light at baptism, we are completely cleansed from sin. Unfortunately, we do sin again. Does that mean we go back into the darkness? No, not if we are still striving to please God. I John 1:7 teaches that “if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from every sin.” By continually walking in the light, we can be continually washed by Christ’s blood. How comforting and amazing that is! But to keep walking in the light, we need to keep confessing our sins to God and to one another (James 5:16). I can overcome them faster, and it encourages me to know they are praying for me.

The security of knowing we have eternal life brings peace and confidence. And God wants us to be confident women, secure in his love (1 John 5:13). He has a special plan for each one of us and sees us for what we can become through knowing him. He is patient with our shortcomings but wants us to push ourselves to be great for him. We must remember that it is by his grace that we can grow and change and have purpose in our lives.

For me, there is no greater joy than seeing someone I have poured my life into come to know God and then, in turn, teach someone else. That is the message of reconciliation.

We have looked at Jesus in the garden, struggling with God to do God’s will, Paul rejoicing in his sufferings for Jesus’ name; and the thief on the cross, being saved by God’s grace. Each of those men understood the message of the cross and its meaning of reconciliation for all people. As we reflect on the cross of Christ, what will be our response?

Epilogue

I appreciate the opportunity to go back and review what I wrote almost forty years ago.  At first, I put off doing this.  Part of me dreaded rereading what I wrote because I was a very different person at twenty-five.  I found parts of the chapter too preachy and religious.  It was a time I thought I had all the answers.  The truth was I hadn’t suffered much, and I was speaking confidently about suffering. What did I really know back then?  Now, decades later, I would say and do many things differently.  I hope that I would listen more and talk less and be willing to learn from anyone.  I hope that I would not be so quick to give advice.  At the same time, while not wanting to gloss over the mistakes of my youth, I do acknowledge that there was so much good going on during those early years – we were full of zeal for God; we were hard-working; and we were participating in God working miracles in people’s lives.

 Reviewing this chapter, and having my oldest daughter write her response, gave me another opportunity to experience God’s grace and kindness.  Sarah was so encouraged to write her response; and for that I am truly thankful.

                --Irene Gifford, January 2023

 Interview Video

After writing this chapter in 1984, Irene left Boston with the Paris Mission team in the summer of 1986. She was married to Lincoln in 1987 and they stayed for six years helping to grow the Paris church. Their three children were born in Paris. Lincoln was working on an MBA at a satellite campus in Paris of the University of Hartford. Because he was required to finish his degree in Connecticut, they returned to the States in 1992 and settled in West Hartford, where they helped plant a new church in 1994. Irene served in many roles with Lincoln, such as overseeing Kids Kingdom, providing marriage and parenting counseling, and serving as an elder’s wife from 2006-2020.  She also taught middle school French in public school from 1998-2020.  When Irene retired from teaching French, early in 2021 she and Lincoln moved to South Portland, Maine, to support the work of the church there. Currently, Irene is working part-time, teaching English and other subjects to refugee children. She is using her language skills to help children from French-speaking Africa who have recently arrived in Maine.  Irene is a member of the worship team at church and sings in a community choir.  She also paints with other artists in the Portland area and shows her work in a local gallery.