Developing Godly Confidence

by Kim Evans, Philadelphia, USA

When you sit down in a chair, do you fearfully lower yourself into it, doubting whether it will support your weight? Do you question whether the light in your kitchen will glow when you flip on the switch? Of course not. We expect the chair and the light to function properly and meet our expectations because over time and through usage, we have become confident in the carpenter and the electrician. We have sat in hundreds of chairs and turned on thousands of lights. Each time we perform these everyday acts, our confidence is reaffirmed, leaving us with complete trust in the acts and in the outcome, they will produce a place to sit and a light to turn on.

Have you ever noticed, however, that the greater the dependence a person has in a certain situation, the harder it becomes for him to develop confidence in that situation? You may sit in a chair without a second thought, but when you were about to take your first airplane trip, you probably pondered it for days before confidently committing yourself to it. The airplane trip had a higher risk involved. It required you to be more dependent on the pilot than you were on the carpenter. To fall to the ground in a chair would only cause embarrassment and perhaps minor injuries. To crash in an airplane would cost you your life.

With God, the dependence factor becomes even more demanding; it is not only total but eternal. God requires you to put your faith solely in him and to trust him with your life. “Without faith, it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV).

Confidence in God demands complete dependence upon him and on the perfect plan he has for your life. The degree of confidence you have in God should be equal to the degree of confidence you have when you sit in a chair or turn on a light. It cannot be an arrogant or self-righteous attitude. Jesus Christ had complete confidence in his relationship with God, yet he humbly considered others better than himself (Philippians 2:3-5 NIV). Self-righteousness or arrogance is an assurance in self while godly confidence is a humble respect for God coupled with an understanding of what can be done through his power in your life.

We will explore three fundamental areas in which we can have godly confidence:

• God’s love for us
• Our love for God 
• Our salvation

Confidence in God’s Love For Us

Times of crises, moments of grief or hardship and unexpected turns of events are some of the situations that test our confidence and reveal where we are before God. This past year, my confidence was put to the test. Nearly five months into my first pregnancy, I lost twins. I had to consider what my confidence was in and why.

The first area of confidence I had to deal with was God’s love for me. I wondered why God would let such a painful thing happen to me if he loved me so much. But then I remembered

the following scriptures: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV), and “What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all–how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31–32 NIV).

Those passages assure me that God will work all things out for my good if I continue to love and trust him. Even when I don’t understand the exact reasoning behind His decisions. I can be confident that in every situation his will is perfectly manifested (Romans 12:2).

God truly loves us and wants only the best for us. Remember that we are his children, bought at a very high price. He sent his only Son to die for us at a time when we were both undeserving and unappreciative. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for all of us” (Romans 5:8 NIV). I have asked myself if I would have been willing to sacrifice my twins for an ungrateful group of people. God’s love for us went far beyond the pondering of a question like that; it bore itself perfect in action. We can be confident of God’s love for us because it was demonstrated through the greatest sacrifice ever made, the gift of his beloved Son. “This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him” (1 John 4:17 NIV).

Confidence in Our Love For God

The next area of confidence I grappled with through the loss of my babies was my love for God. Matthew 22:37 (NIV) states that you must love God with “all you heart and with all your strength and will all your mind.” Before my pregnancy, it was difficult for me to understand how one could love the unseen. But loving God is like loving an unborn child. Any mother knows how easily that comes.

Loving God with all our mind requires study and meditation on his word. We must “find out what pleases the Lord” (Ephesians 5:10 NIV) and apply it to our lives — for the rest of lives.

Loving God with all our strength is love in action, and a growing love. We are compelled to do that for “Christ’s love compels us to live a life “worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27 NIV) and to “shine like stars in the universe as we hold out the word of life” to others (Philippians 2:15 NIV). Our love for God must dwell richly in our hearts, be ever on our minds and evident in all our actions.

Confidence in Our Salvation

The result of having confidence in God’s love for us and in our love for God is confidence in our relationship with God. As Christians, we have the freedom to speak to God and about God to others. We can “approach the throne of grace with confidence,” “receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV).

We can also have the surety of salvation (being with God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit in the presence of perfect love, joy and peace for eternity) and look forward to the day of judgment without fear. Death is when our immortal life with God will begin, the time when we will be brought to perfection in Christ. We should eagerly anticipate death, not in a morbid sense, but in a way that exemplifies our desire to be wholly with our Father. “Therefore, we are always confident and know that if we are at home in the body, we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:6-8). Saying this another way, I am confident that our twins are already with the Lord for eternity. Their hearts were beating when they went to be with my Lord.

Developing Confidence

We now know what confidence is and what we must be confident in, so how do we develop confidence? God’s Word gives us an important prerequisite-righteousness. Isaiah 32:17 (NIV) teaches that “the fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.”

Confidence is developed through an understanding that God’s way is the best way to live. We must have the attitude of being willing to do whatever God commands, to “seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, you who do what he commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you will be sheltered on the day of the Lord’s anger” (Zephaniah 2:3 NIV).

When we live out of step with God’s plan, we experience chaos. However, when we do what God commands, the result is a righteous life. When our life is righteous, we can be a “living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God” (Romans 12:1 NIV), confident in him and in our relationship with him. Godly confidence comes from being one in mind and thought with God.

Obstacles to Confidence

There are two major obstacles to living a righteous life and developing godly confidence. The first is undealt with sin. Because sin is the only thing that can separate us from God, it will quickly rob us of our confidence if we don’t deal with it. Sometimes we don’t see our sin and need help to overcome it. God gave us other believers, the church to help us.

Christ died for our sins so that we would no longer have to live in sin but could live for righteousness. “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds we have been healed” (1 Peter 2:24 NIV). Confidence is the natural result of crucifying sin and being righteous with a strong relationship to God. To develop confidence in ourselves and others, we must be able to recognize sin in ourselves (and others) and repent of our behavior and help others do the same.

Relying on self rather than on God is the second obstacle to becoming a confident person. When we rely on ourselves, we are denying Christ as the Lord of our life. To see how those obstacles can affect our confidence. Let’s investigate the life and heart of a fictitious woman I will call Sarah Windor. Sarah is a 25-year-old with a B.S. in biology from Boston University. She is single and employed by RCA in Burlington, Massachusetts. Her life and love for God are respected by those around her, and she sets the pace for the single women in the congregation. The group Bible study Sarah leads is effective, and she maintains an organized, disciplined life. In every situation she is eager to get advice, quick to listen and slow to speak. Yet despite all these great qualities, when Sarah was asked, “what is your greatest weakness?” Her answer was “lack of confidence.”

There are only two possible reasons for Sarah’s lack of confidence – undealt with sin or reliance on self. Although both obstacles to righteousness are manifested in various forms, the result is the same — one is stripped of one’s godly confidence.

Looking into Sarah’s life, we see that she appears to be eager to listen and desires to do what is best. However, looking into Sarah’s heart, we find that she is striving to please people rather than God. She is relying on her own talents rather than using her talents and relying on God to get His job done. Looking a little deeper into Sarah’s heart, we see hidden resentment toward one of the sisters she lives with. This undealt with sin is causing her to condemn herself in her own heart. The resulting lack of confidence before God causes Sarah to fear that those around her will see her true colors (1 John 3:21).

Sarah lives on a merry-go-round trying to catch her heart up with the image she portrays. Sarah or anyone else trying to develop confidence must live a righteous life that is based on a love relationship with God, not legalism. We need to think for ourselves and live open lives with an attitude of “what more can I do?” Remember that all confidence is demonstrated by action but not all action demonstrates confidence.

Growing in Our Confidence

Once our initial confidence has been established, how can we keep our confidence growing? Jesus was able to motivate his disciples all the way from leaving their worldly positions to follow him to going into all the world and spreading the gospel. To do this Jesus used steppingstones to build up their confidence, such as calming the storm for his disciples.

Luke 8:22–25 (NIV) reads:

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.

“Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

Christ continually put his disciples in situations where their faith was tested. The result was obedience to him and an increased confidence in him. To increase our confidence, we must force ourselves and others to rely on God more and more. Recently, I assigned the task of organizing a church dinner to a sister who had never done it before. The task required her to rely on God and others, and it was a steppingstone to maturing in confidence. She thanked me for helping her to develop more confidence by giving her more responsibility. After organizing a few more dinners, it will take a larger task to create the challenge she will need to continue maturing in confidence. Also, she can teach others what she has learned.

Developing confidence is a process that continues throughout our entire Christian life. We all desire to be confident people chosen by God to make a lasting impact on the world. God has given us all the talents we need to accomplish the challenge of going and making disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19). Through our confidence in God, we have the power to answer His upward call.

Author Bio

Kim Evans became a Christian in 1979 at the Crossroads Church of Christ in Gainesville, Florida, while working on a bachelor of science in Chemistry at the University of Florida. She also worked full-time in the teen ministry in her final years in college. In 1983, she married Walter Evans. After their marriage, they moved to Champaign, Illinois to plant a church. 

With Roger and Marcia Lamb, they planted the church in Champaign and oversaw the campus ministry at the University of Illinois. Five years and two children later, Kim and Walter moved to the UK and were in the ministry in London, England. They planted the church in Manchester, England. Their third child was born while they were working in Birmingham, England. Their family continued to multiply. All three children are married and, to date, Kim and Walter are the proud grandparents of four grandchildren. 

The Evans family has been in the Philadelphia, Pa., area since 1991, serving in the ministry in the Greater Philadelphia Church of Christ (GPCC). Walter is an Evangelist and Elder of the GPCC and leads the International Church of Christ (ICOC) Elders Committee.  Kim, in addition to being a Women’s Ministry Leader, leading a region of the GPCC, is the CEO of Camp Hope for Kids and very involved in helping the poor and needy in Philadelphia. Camp Hope for Kids serves kids from 8 to 18 years of age all around the world. Camp Hope for Kids is linked with the Beam Trust and the School of Missions.