Together We Thrive

 The Power of a Circle of Friends

By Ayhanna Booker, Silver Spring, MD, USA

How do we thrive…

when you feel like you are in the valley of the shadow of death,

when you face trials of many kinds,

when you feel like every time you try to get into the pool something gets in the way,

when you hear Jesus ask you if you want to get well and the frustration that comes from believing you already said absolutely, yes, please heal me,

when you feel lost for words in prayer but you know that’s all that you have hope in, yet you are afraid of the answer, disappointed in the silence,

when you want to thrive but what you think it means to thrive seems impossible to do, and you look to God to say what’s impossible with man is possible with God,

when you know God is able and He is willing but even if He doesn’t not you will not worship any other God,

when thriving is simply walking with God through the dark places and trusting that He will take you by your right hand and say do not be afraid because I am with you,

when you have to repeatedly tell yourself that Jesus told Martha didn’t I tell you that if you believe you would see the glory of God and all you can say is I do believe help me overcome my unbelief,

when you keep going back to the well of Jesus who has the living water because it’s all you have, and

when you offer up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the One and Only who could save you, heal him, and redeem my children.

This is part of a conversation with God — not sure if I would call it a prayer — when I could not sleep and I wanted to take my mind off of the many things that run through my head regarding:

• my husband as he undergoes his third treatment to eradicate the cancerous cells that are growing in his body
• the faith and well-being of our three teenagers who are all beginning to leave our nest
• ministering and leading a church
• whatever else my brain can find and try to fix or control outcomes

How do we thrive? Together, together with the friends and family, together with Jesus. Yet in order to thrive together I have found that it takes the very uncomfortable, courageous and scary state of vulnerability and trust that comes with sharing what is going on in these intimate moments. Although it has been hard to do these things, it’s in sharing, asking for and accepting help, prayers, words of encouragement, etc. that I have been able to continue to give and receive, have peace and hope and prayerfully whatever it means to “thrive”. I don’t want you to remember my story and emotions, but I pray you are inspired by the band of women whose story inspires my faith no matter what is happening in my life.

A Model of Community—Girlfriends Growing and Built Up in Love

Allow me to introduce you to the women in Jesus’ ministry, Mary Magdalene and her band of sister-friends, who flourished in the face of whatever came their way.

• Mary Magdalene--Mary Magdalene was said to have had seven demons that Jesus cast out of here. Many commentaries interpret this as her being immoral however it is quite possible that she suffered from some other type of demon possession that manifested as depression, mental or physical illness. Luke 8:1-3, Luke 24:10; Matt 27:61, 28:1-10; Mark 15:40-47, 16:1-11, John 20:1-18
• Joanna—She is mentioned in Luke 8:2 and Luke 24:10. She was the wife of a Cuza (who managed the household of Herod (this is the Herod responsible for the beheading of John). She was a wealthy woman, accustomed to the comforts of worldliness. She had lived in an atmosphere of great power but chose to be amongst the community of believers –fishermen, poor people, tax collectors, etc. Because of her unique position, she must have faced many pressures to maintain her faithfulness to the Lord. • The test of perseverance: Was her husband supportive of her faith? Did he divorce her after awhile because she would not deny Jesus—we don’t know the exact trials she faced. We can only imagine as we consider that she lived in the palace of the man who was present at the Lord’s crucifixion, the son of the king (Herod) who tried to kill Jesus (Matt 2:13-20).
• Susanna—she was among those who travelled with Jesus. It does not say whether she was married or not, nonetheless she was probably respected and wealthy since she is included in the group of women who had been healed by Jesus of demon-possession or disease and supported his ministry. Luke 8:3.
• Many others—The following women may have been a part of this group. The woman that was subject to bleeding for 12 years (Luke 8:43-48). The woman known as the sinful woman described in Luke 7:37-50 who was set free from her sinful way of life. The woman who had been crippled by a spirit for 18 years (Luke 13:11-13). Simon’s mother in-law who suffered from a high fever (Luke 4:38-39).

Their demographics are not known but I am sure they were varied (married, widows, singles, older, younger, immoral backgrounds, virgins, outcast, in a family unit, rich and poor). But they had something in common: they had been healed of evil spirits and diseases by Jesus and were eternally grateful to their Healer.

Anyone with a disease was an outcast, unclean, separated from friends, family and all that was familiar. The symptoms of demon possession in the New Testament was varied. Demon possessed people were sometimes insane, as in the case of the two demon-possessed men who lived in the graveyard (Matt 8:28-34). Sometimes demon-possession manifested itself in physical infirmities, such as blindness (Matt 12:22), deafness (Mark 9:25), an inability to speak (Matt 9:32-33), fits and seizures (Mark 1:26, Luke 9:38-40) and general infirmities (Luke 13:11-13).

Those possessed in the New Testament are portrayed as tormented people, not willful participants. They suffered terrible indignities at the hands of evil spirits. They were miserable, sorrowful, lonely, heartsick, forlorn and pitiable creatures. This was the condition of the women who followed Jesus as he went from town to town preaching the good news. But they were healed. Jesus established a community, all knit together, such that they were able to face the things ahead. These women once ostracized and isolated discovered the meaning of belonging and relationship.

Consider the challenges associated with the woman who had been in isolation over a long period of time. I am sure she had trust issues, she had a hard time sharing her heart. Not to mention when you are in isolation you need not consider the needs of anyone else. “Looking out for #1” must have been their mantra. Yet, the gratitude produced by God’s gracious hand upon them taught them to say no to individualism, it’s all about me, etc.

The women were courageous. While courage has often been seen as a male virtue, as we read about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, the women are not seen as merely anxious but as actually courageous. They are the first to witness the resurrection and therefore commissioned to share the good news. There was great danger involved in association with Jesus at the cross and after the cross. As evidenced by the disciples reaction, the disciples fled and denied association. But take note, that the male disciples were alone—Peter was by himself in the temple courts when he denied Jesus. Luke 22:54-62. Judas had separated himself from the disciples. John 20:24 speaks of Thomas’ absence from the disciples when Jesus first appeared to them. The women, however, are said to be together at the cross (Matt 27:55-56), together at his burial (Luke 23:55-56), and together to witness the resurrected Jesus (Luke 24:1-10).

Question: What was cultivated between these women while they traveled with Jesus? Perhaps they learned from his vulnerability/humility to rely on one another just as he relied on them. They remained physically close and took care of each others needs. Even more, God chose not to be independent of us, but came as Christ who humbled himself by becoming one of us and belonging to us.

• The women were probably up all night preparing the spices and perfume as a final act of service for their Lord, the one they loved. It must have been quite a night—subdued conversation, busy hands, questions, memories, tears, smiles, shattered dreams, uncertain hope. Question: Did they remind each other of what he said as they expressed doubt, frustration, anger, hopelessness, etc. I need this from you and I hope to be that for you.
• This sense of community definitely had to be learned. Surely, between the demon possession and the diseases these women had, they were left isolated, alone. They had never experienced community (love for one another) and they probably learned to mistrust or not believe it. To them community could have meant uniformity, oppression, and control where one group feels left out, overlooked, short-changed. As a result, in all likelihood this band of women could have drifted toward self-sufficiency and rejected any permanent relationships (recall that they were able to support Jesus’ ministry so they had financial means and not all of them were married).

They maintained this unity even after the resurrection. In all likelihood they were among the women named in Acts 1:14 who joined together in constantly in prayer with the apostles. And they were the reason we now have Acts 2:42-47 as an example for how we can have koinonia (Greek -fellowship) In order for us to have this genuine fellowship within the Church, each person must be open, trusting and willing to be actively involved in each others’ lives — giving and borrowing each others faith, hope and love. May the LORD cause you to flourish. Psalm 115:14

About the Author

Ayhanna Booker serves as a Women’s Ministry Leader along side her husband of 23 years, and a team of faithful disciples of Christ in Maryland near Washington, D.C. in the US. She loves walking together with the women in her community—studying God’s Word, praying, practicing spiritual disciplines for transformation, loving God and living out faith as one. She has had the honor and privilege of teaching classes for the Ministry Training on Men and Women working Together in Ministry, Spiritual Growing & the Empathy of Christ, the Holy Spirit, Redemptive Preaching, New Testament Survey of Women, Spiritual Disciplines for Transformation along with a host of other topics. Currently, she is in the adventurous season of raising and launching three beautiful teenagers.