This couldn’t be happening to me

I was baptized when I was a teenager, in 1993. I thought life with God would be beautiful and wonderful. I walked with him. He walked with me. It never crossed my mind that one day I would be married, only to have the marriage end in divorce. 

 It was 2004, I was pregnant and it was time for me to deliver my second son. My husband's business collapsed. He chose to run away and leave us, leaving us also with a huge amount of debt.

Unbelief filled my heart. How could God let such bad things happen in my life? I had served God, from my youth. I was on a mission team for 5 years. I studied the Bible with people and baptized them. 

I was mad at God. It couldn’t be true. It was not real. This couldn't be happening to me. It must be someone else's life, but not mine. I felt God like didn't love me anymore, that he cursed my life.

 After many tears and prayers, finally God helped me through. I got my life back. I was starting to live again. I began to lead in a singles ministry again. I dedicated my life to God again. 

Meanwhile, my eldest son was bitter toward God. When he was four years old, he told me that he didn't want to pray anymore because God never heard the prayers. I had to seek advice about how to explain to him about our situation. It got even harder when he turned into a teenager. 

God never left me alone

I thank God that I had so much support from my family (my whole family had become disciples by this time), and that I have a best friend in the Jakarta church, who is also a single mom. 

My son also was supported by brothers from the church, who studied the Bible with him, mentored him, and befriended him. I'm very grateful for our community. 

In 2016, my eldest son was baptized on his 16th birthday. Now he is in college, with only two more semesters to go until he graduates!

Three years after my eldest was baptized, in 2019, my youngest son also was baptized into the Kingdom! Now I've been a disciple for 27 years. I'm still single. But my life is full. I'm leading in the Precious Women ministry; I serve in Kids Kingdom; and I write spiritual articles for our church's blog.

 Now I know that God never leave me alone during those very hard times. He is faithful. To God be the glory.

 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul."

Psalms 23:2-3 NIV