Until Next Time, Zach!

Until Next Time, Zach!

By MaryAnn Kasper

Saying goodbye to my 22-year-old son, who is moving back to California, is indeed challenging.

He tried to make things work by living in our home state, New Jersey, last month, but to no avail. I understand that his work is in California, and there were no doors opening for him here. After all, the boy needs to earn a living. Yes, this is the pain and heartache of motherhood - saying goodbye to my son again.

The first time I had to say goodbye to him was almost three years ago when he first decided to move out to California. My husband and I even made a pros and cons list on why he should not go. We tried to convince him of all the reasons he should stay but to no avail. We knew we had to let him go. It is part of our job.

Letting go

It was hard for my husband to let him go, but it was even more difficult for me. Boys show their moms their true colors, you know - their disappointments with the things not going well in their lives; their sickness; their sadness; and their pain.

Even if things are going right, they become little boys again with their mothers. We feel it all with them - their hurts. I suppose they want us to make it all better like we did when they were little.

But he is older now and keeping him with us is overstepping our boundary lines. So I give him over to the loving care of my God the Almighty, Lord, and maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, especially his future.

Trusting God

God is preparing a home to settle him down in. He's securing the work of his hands, finding him a wife, thinking of how he’ll fashion his kids, their hobbies, and favorite colors. He’s got him. He’s got the plans for him.

But the feelings are real. They hurt. It’s good. It’s going to be okay. I will call him from time to time and trust in my Lord and my God until the next time we meet. Until then, I have my roles to continue to fulfill: being a wife to Joey, a mom to Harry and Hunter, my teaching job, my writing, my students, and my friends.

Parting is really such sweet sorrow. Sweet because I know California is where my son belongs and sorrow because I do miss him when he’s not around. I’m going to miss him not being there when I get home from work. To laugh and share my day with, to watch YouTube and run errands together, and go out for something (usually very expensive) to eat.

My sweet, sweet boy. The Lord’s sweet, sweet boy who is now a young man. I will miss you but you are in very good hands.