HEEDING THE CALL REGARDLESS OF SEASONS

BY NANCY TANDELA – Seasoned Single mother

After being a Christian for 30 years (1991-2021), we are well aware that we will face events in life that may be challenging and difficult to understand.  When we are younger Christians, our faith is simple and zealous. We are willing to do anything, go anywhere, and give up everything for God (Luke 14:25-26). There were a few times in my life as a Christian that I’ve needed to heed God’s call, regardless of my will and current seasons of life:

A. THE CALL TO RETURN TO ASIA

I was baptized on January 6th, 1991, in the Kansas City Church of Christ. About 4 months after I became a Christian in the U.S., where I had lived, attended university, and worked for about 11 years, I got a call to return to Asia. The Jakarta church had just started in 1990 and they needed more local Indonesian disciples to return to join the church. Karen Louis (and John), who led the SEA region of churches at that time, made that call.  At first, I said “No,” because my heart was set to live in the U.S.—I loved my life and the church here! I had already obtained my U.S. resident green card and planned to stay for good. But, after I hung up on that call, a voice in my heart spoke to me and told me to reconsider my decision. I opened the Bible to Luke 14:25-26 and reminded myself that, to be a disciple, I must put God’s call and dream above my own. I knelt down to pray and asked God to change my heart to go if that was His will.

Long story short, I decided to return to Asia. I quit my job, sold my possessions, packed my stuff, and returned to Asia.

B. THE CALL TO SERVE GOD FULL-TIME IN THE MINISTRY

I was born to a Chinese family in Medan, Indonesia. Both my parents made many sacrifices and worked very hard to build up our family and business.  From nothing, my parents managed to build an affluent business. My parents sent all three of us kids to the U.S. to study for our future. I had high respect for my parents’ hard work and sacrifices and I wanted to make them proud and please them. Working for the church was never an option. I had my parents’ dream in my heart. I, like my parents, was business-minded and wanted to build a successful life. When the call came for me to work full-time for God’s church, I was quick to reject the offer. After all, I returned to Asia…wasn’t that good enough for God? To live here as a working disciple? I could never imagine that I would work full-time for the church.

However, the calls to serve God’s church full-time kept knocking at my door. One time, two times, three times...each time I said ‘No.” That call was not my dream. I was happy to live as a disciple and lead my group. When the group grew to become a zone, the call came again. And one day, when I attended a church conference in the Philippines, my heart was touched by speaker Frank Kim, who preached that, in this life, we all have “One Life To Live.” Who did we want to live our life for? For our boss? For our parents? For our success? Or for our God? That sermon convicted and changed my heart. And so, I quit my corporate job and decided to enter the ministry full-time in 1994.

C. THE CALL TO MARRY A DISCIPLE

For women disciples, another big thing to consider is…“Who to marry?” I became a Christian at 29 and, when I returned to Jakarta, the church had only a few decent single brothers. I saw no brothers who could be compatible with me, but I believed God would find me the right life partner as He did for Isaac (Genesis 24). After dating an Indonesian brother who was returning from an overseas church, we fell in love. And after a long-distance relationship for about one year, we were engaged and married soon after. Together, we both dreamt to build our and God’s families.

I married at 35. As a single woman, I had developed an ovarian cyst in one of my ovarium. I prayed during my honeymoon to have a baby and God heard my prayers. Jeremy was a honeymoon baby. After he was born I said, “Thank you, God! Now I am a complete woman – I have a family of my own.” Later, I prayed to God again—it would be really kind of Him if I could have a daughter. Then I would be a really complete woman—to have both a boy and girl! God heard my prayers. The year after Jeremy was born, I conceived again. God loved me and heard my prayers. I felt so loved by God. My father in heaven was my daddy and I was His girl. I gave all my heart and soul to God to build His church and my own family.

D. THE CALL TO BE FAITHFUL REGARDLESS OF CRISIS

MARRIAGE/SPOUSE STRUGGLE

When my girl was born in 1999, the difficulties began. I didn’t know how to handle a spiritually and emotionally struggling husband. He’d stopped attending meetings, came home late, and was avoiding the brothers who wanted to help him. I struggled and cried that year as I didn’t know what to do.

Five months later, God called us to Singapore to get spiritual counseling and spiritual help. One week of spiritual counseling in Singapore helped heal both myself and my husband then. We came back to Indonesia fired up again to lead our lives and to serve. Three months after that incident, we were called to move to Singapore as there was a need for a couple to lead the sector in the church there. I struggled to leave our newly-built beautiful house in Jakarta, but after a few days of prayers, I surrendered to God’s dream and we started to make arrangements to pack our stuff and move our young family to Singapore end of 1999.

MARRIAGE CRISIS LEADING TO DIVORCE

Life was exciting at the beginning of our move to Singapore. As a family of four, I devoted my life to our family and to help as many people as possible know God. But seven years after we’d lived in Singapore, another battle arose. First, coming out of the ministry at the end of 2007, and then a marriage crisis.  There were disconnection and mistrust in our marriage and I cried in pain most of 2008. Helpless, hopeless, betrayed, hurt …The year after led to separation and divorce.

What would you do if you were in my place?

I felt like the ceiling was crashing down on me and the glass window was shattering in my face. I felt devastated, fearful, pained, abandoned, unloved. What would I do with my life and my two young children without a husband and father in the family? I never imagined divorce in my life. I grew up in a family where my parents were faithful and devoted until death separated them. I felt ashamed of my divorce. I was fearful about the idea of raising two young children alone! There were many fears and pain.

I had to surrender to God when nothing else worked.  I knelt down before God to tell him that He must take over. I remember, in my lowest energy and hopelessness, I could only gather my strength every day to read one chapter of the book of Psalm in the summer of 2009. Journaling my deep pain and fearful emotions daily helped me to process my emotions and understanding my emotions gave me freedom (John 8:32: The truth will set you free). I sought emotional counseling from a counselor. I prayed for God to heal our pain and brokenheartedness.

Many months after that,  I walked outdoors and asked God to hold my hand, as I had no one else. I held onto God’s promises to comfort me:

Isaiah 41:10;13: The Lord said “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God! I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand”...“For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, “Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”

I was also grateful to have the support of my physical family and the sisters in the church that I could run to when I was low and needed someone to be there for me.

I held on closely to God’s promises and He was there throughout these painful times to comfort and heal my broken heart, and to provide for my livelihood. God slowly healed the pain in my heart and gave me comfort and hope that, with Him, I could build a new chapter in my life. He would help me raise up my two young children, who were 10 and 12-year-olds then.

He gave me a job right after that and I grappled with learning the educational business.