Single Moms: Overcoming Pride and Prejudice

By Leslie De Morais

Goiania, Brazil

Introduction

This article is the first in a series. It is geared toward gaining understanding of what women who are single parents experience and how they can best cope with the challenges of motherhood.

This is not a quick read. My hope is that the articles may serve as a basis for discussion groups or personal Bible study and reflection, or even as a catalyst for change and improvement within our churches. 

So, whether you are a single mom, church member or a church leader, hopefully you will find some useful insights and tools for the strengthening and building up of the single moms in your church and community.

Each article is paralleled to a popular classic books about strong single women (not necessarily single moms), reminding us of the universal struggles women face.

--Leslie

The Strong-Willed Elizabeth Bennet

Since its immediate success in 1813, Pride and Prejudice has remained one of the most popular novels in the English language. Author Jane Austen called this brilliant work "her own darling child" and its vivacious heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, "as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print." 

The romantic clash between the opinionated Elizabeth and her proud beau, Mr. Darcy, is a splendid performance of civilized sparring. And Jane Austen's radiant wit sparkles as her characters dance a delicate quadrille of flirtation and intrigue, making this book the most superb comedy of manners of Regency England.(1)   

“What could a 19th century, upper middle-class young woman in England’s rolling countryside possibly have in common with me?” you might ask. The connections I would like to make have to do with human nature and social expectations and stigmas. Hopefully, by the end of this article, you may find you have more in common with Elizabeth Bennett than you may have thought. 

If you’re not an avid reader or don’t have the time, well, because you’re a single mom, there are several versions of the book that have come to life on the big screen. My personal favorite is the 2005 film with Keira Knightly, directed by Joe Wright. 

Keira Knightly as Elizabeth Bennet in the remake of Pride and Prejudice, 2005

It vividly depicts the social pressure women were under to attract and secure a suitable marriage partner, not only to ensure their own future but also to avoid becoming a burden to their families. But what about love? What about a woman’s dreams for her future? Well, that was wishful thinking, not the goal. Marriage was a contractual business venture meant to benefit both families at best and only one of them at worst. Employment and other options for maintaining oneself comfortable and occupied were quite limited back then for women. However, Elizabeth Bennett wanted more—more space, more freedom, more hope than what a possibly loveless marriage that suited social norms would offer. 

It’s difficult in today’s world to truly feel the desperation she and her sisters must have felt about succumbing to the pressure of simply choosing someone to marry and be done with it. How challenging it must have been for Elizabeth, in a completely male-dominant society, to make a choice that was so non-traditional and defiant. Her story reveals her pride and determination about making her own choices and the prejudice she and other women faced when living outside established conventions.

Fast-forward to 2021. The world is different, but have the social expectations really changed that much? Outwardly, we see women making choices they could not have made 200 years ago. But have the perceptions about those choices really changed? 

Single moms come in all shapes, sizes, colors and from diverse backgrounds. For the purposes of this series, I will address moms in four categories:

• Never married

• Divorced

• Widowed

• Single motherhood by choice (adoption)

Of course, there are other situations that can bring about single parenthood. But in the interest of simplicity, let us confine our discussion to these four circumstances.

Recently, I was alerted to a more recent and more ample term for moms parenting alone, solo mom. The blogger of anotherwritingmom.wordpress.com describes the term like this: “Solo” seems to modify “mom”—i.e., “I'm mothering solo.” This, as opposed to how “single” in no way modifies “mom,” but is an extra detail about said mom. She is single, and she is a mom. Solo moms could be divorced, widowed, or have a partner who has been deployed for a long period of time.

I understand the desire to ditch the invasive label “single.” However, the general population may still be transitioning from old habits which die hard. So, let’s be patient with each other. Whenever you see the acronym “SM” in this article, it will stand for either single mom or solo mom. You may choose your particular preference.

Think about it

How is being a single parent received in your society today? Is it accepted? Do you feel discriminated against? Do you feel left out or even marginalized? Are you and your decisions supported?

What about in your church? Are your needs met and those of your children? Do you find acceptance and assistance? Do you wish there would be more focus on meeting your needs? And if so, what can be done?

Overcoming Pride and Prejudice: Pride

Pride takes on many forms. It can display itself through arrogance, authoritarianism, self-importance, conceit, overconfidence, pretentiousness, and haughtiness. But pride has another side—a more subtle and camouflaged side. We can be fooled by its apparent fragility and non-aggressive traits. Pride can manifest itself through stubbornness, reluctance or refusal of assistance, and at the opposite end of the spectrum, insecurity. As women, our pride takes shape most often through defiance, insistence and willfulness. 

How can pride hurt SMs most? 

Having been raised by a solo mom, I saw my mother struggle with anger, frustration and depression. My father was absent most of their marriage and when they divorced (I was 12 at the time), he was unreliable and inconsistent with financial support and non-existent regarding parental collaboration. Although my mother was doing her absolute best, Satan got in there and wreaked havoc with her emotions and self-esteem.

Only a close relationship with God, the amazing example of Jesus, encouragement and guidance from the Holy Spirit, and instruction from the Bible can bring about the healthy balance necessary between being self-reliant and self-aware (about how and when to ask for help). 

My mother did not have the blessing of close friendships with spiritual women to help her fill the gap of the much-needed, but missing, male partnership. She could have greatly benefited from the love, support, and advice I see in the church today. I believe her life could have been totally different had she been exposed to the network of family relationships a Christian community offers, not to mention the wisdom and discipline the Bible provides to help us with our choices as adults and in regard to raising children.

But even within the church, pride can stand in the way of us receiving the discipling and guidance we need. SMs are no exception.

Overcoming Pride and Prejudice: Pride

It is my own personal conviction that we all have prejudice of one kind or another, even as Christians. We can be tempted with judgmental thoughts, even if we strive to be otherwise. 

What is prejudice? Simply stated, the dictionary defines prejudice as:

• an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

• any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.

• unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group.

As a social group, can SMs experience prejudice? Yes, of course. Anyone at any time can experience prejudice. SMs may feel the effects of prejudice in a conversation when reactions to their marital status are unfavorable, or the reality of their children’s circumstances are revealed. It can be felt when she is forgotten to be invited to a gathering with married moms or unable to keep pace financially with other parents around her. It can be felt in a stereotypical joke or a misguided question or thoughtless remark.

The fact is, we all have our prejudices that we must overcome and remove from our hearts. We all at one time or another, to some degree, have been the object or the source of judgment and/or discrimination. 

So, what can we do about it?

Where SMs are concerned, I believe the key to changing people’s minds about single parents (and by extension, their families) is found in exhibiting patience and humility. These characteristics are essential to helping others understand and gain compassion and empathy. As an SM, do you have the patience and humility to gently inform others about your reality even when you feel offended? Proverbs teaches us: 

And in Colossians 3:12, the Bible reads:

If you are not an SM, you can help by making sure your interactions with SMs are loving, respectful, kind and thoughtful. Show respect for who they are as people (new creations in Christ) and not focus solely on the choices of their past or the challenges of their current life situation.

Writing this article was extremely difficult for me. It took over six months to complete. Why? I had to face my own attitudes and assumptions regarding the topic. In reality, I had developed un-Christ-like opinions regarding SMs and the writing assignment was unearthing them. As a married woman in God’s kingdom, I enjoyed respect, good standing and most of all, partnership with a man I admire and love.  It became increasingly apparent to me that I had created two standards in my mind for motherhood, two unspoken criteria which caused division between the dual and the single parent conditions. The true irony of this situation is that had it not been for God’s love and mercy, I could have easily found myself facing life as a single parent. 

As a non-Christian teenager—only 16 years old—after my first sexual experience with my boyfriend, I found myself waiting for weeks for the first signs of my menstruation. But nothing. Every day I checked; every day I grew more and more worried. I couldn’t sleep. I barely ate. I couldn’t pay attention at school. Everyone else appeared too carefree. Five weeks passed; then six. The day I was about to tell my mother about my suspicions, my period came. I’m still not sure if I conceived and the intensity of my worry caused a natural miscarriage or if my menstruation was simply irregular or just late. If I had been pregnant, and the child had been delivered, I would have a 43-year-old son or daughter now. Unfathomable, however, true! So why the attitudes with SMs, when I could have easily been one myself? The only explanation is sin. We all suffer from it. We all need to repent. So, that’s what I am doing.

Portraits of Single Moms

Below you will find an interview I conducted with six SM disciples from Brazil, where I live currently. I asked specific questions regarding the topic of this article: Overcoming Pride and Prejudice. 

With the aim of being concise, I will limit responses to 3-4 of them for each question, even though each one answered all the interview questions. Future articles will feature SMs from other parts of the world.

Meet Patrícia Regina

Meet Fátima

Meet Laryssa

Meet Rose 

Meet Nelce

Meet Clementina

The Interview

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Pride

1. Can you identify how pride may have contributed to your situation as a SM?

Rose: Yes. Although my pregnancy was not planned, I always told everyone that I would be a mother before the age of 30, whether I was married or not. It was as if I was saying that I didn't need anyone’s help to be a mother, just my own desire. I could do it on my own, I was going to work and support my son and myself.

Nelce: Yes. Today I can clearly see I fell into sexual sin that caused my pregnancy at the beginning of my Christian life. It generated very worldly concepts about dating, relationships and how to deal with situations. I was always very independent and from a poor family, so I had to learn to support myself very early, to make decisions on my own, without weighing the outcome, without much advice. In short, I learned to “get by on my own,” and that brought sins like self-sufficiency into my heart, which is nothing more than pride and idolatry.

Laryssa: Maybe my pride was before I got pregnant, it was in the decision to get married, even with so much advice to the contrary. I lacked trust in God and should have trusted less in my strength. He knows the right time for everything, I do not.  And as much as I think I may see ideal conditions, sometimes I am blind (especially when it comes to matters of the heart) and good spiritual advice makes all the difference in my walk with God.

2. How do you see that pride can get in the way of SMs asking for and receiving the help they need?

Laryssa: It is very difficult to share a task that is ours alone; because this is the feeling we (SMs) have. Even as much as people are willing to help, it is almost impossible to disconnect from the responsibility to your child. I have the feeling that I am bothering others or burdening them with a weight that I should be carrying.

Patrícia Regina: I was willful and stubborn about doing what I wanted, totally dominated by desire instead of doing God’s will, like Eve in the Garden of Eden. The greatest difficulty for me is dominating my own desires.

Nelce: It can get in the way, like it got in my way initially, by wanting to be in control of everything, resolving everything by my own “strength” without first seeking God in prayer and through His word. Pride prevents us from asking for advice and help to ponder situations. As a new mother, I needed and really depended a lot on the assistance of Christian brothers and sisters who helped me to change the way I saw life and taught me to highly value the Christian life. They were a great support for me and my daughter. I am very grateful to God for that.

3. How do you balance receiving help and being independent? 

Nelce: I learned through much suffering and pain to seek God first in my life. I always go to Him with my doubts, heartaches, sadness, as well as my conquests and joys. I also have sisters and friends of great confidence where I seek advice and help.  I don't like making decisions alone anymore. So, when I seek advice, I am at peace, and I know what is the right thing to do (Colossians 3:15).

Patrícia Regina: I seek my friends and pray with them about whatever is happening. I am really open with them.

Rose: I believe it is a process; and being part of the church helped me a lot in that. In the world, we are created to be independent, but we end up being selfish and proud. In the church, I learned that depending on one another is not a weakness, and that we can be independent, but we will always need each other in some area of our lives. This concept took time to make sense to me. But God helped me to have that balance.

4. In terms of seeking, receiving, and implementing advice, do you feel your independence as a SM has helped or hindered in making you more receptive to advice?

Nelce: My independence does not hinder me anymore. Today, I am totally receptive to the advice. I know its value. My life would be much more difficult without the help I receive from God through advice. God has already used many people to bless me.

Laryssa: My need makes me receptive to advice. After making so many mistakes, I learned to listen to advice from people who love me and I'm sure they are directed by God.

Clementina: At first, allowing someone to interfere with my child's training was uncomfortable. But seeing the positive result of the practical advice made me more vulnerable.

Fatima: My situation helps me accept advice. Now, I look for it even more. My need makes me dependent on seeking a lot of advice.

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Prejudice

5. How have you experienced prejudice as a SM?

Patrícia Regina: One brother (at church) told me once that he was not interested in dating me because he wanted exclusive attention. Other people have said that my son was the result of sin and that nothing good could come of him. These were the most painful remarks.

Nelce: I've felt prejudice against me for not being married. I've felt inferior and judged and I've been harassed as if my existence were a threat to the families of other married women. This seems and is really very worldly, but it has been real to me many times and this produced a feeling of failure for a long time, for feeling that I had taken a wrong path and there was no way to change what I had done. On the other hand, I still felt guilty and sad for not having and not being able to give a complete family to my daughter.

Fatima: I heard some people say, you are crazy to have a child now without a husband, when you could be able to enjoy your freedom.

6. How do you deal with the prejudice?

Fatima: I say, “My son will not be a heavy cross for me, too heavy to bear.”

Clementina: I sought to contradict the stereotypical expectations of others by seeking academic and professional training.

Patrícia Regina: My relationship with God gives me the security to confront Satan’s lies. I still fight for my son’s spiritual life and now I have a strong dating relationship with a brother in the church. It is God who gives me the victory. Also, I do therapy which also helps me in many areas.

7. What feelings accompany these incidents?

Rose: In my case, the feelings were of frustration, sadness, and loneliness, because deep down I knew that I was not within what society expected and what my mother expected. It was as if I had failed in life. But on the other hand, being a mother made me know another side to myself.

Nelce: For me, the main feelings are sadness and a sense of failure, because in addition to having to deal with situations of prejudice, we also have to deal with guilt. It is too difficult to forgive ourselves when we know that our mistake is so big. We are tempted to believe in the voices that speak of our inferiority, of our failure, openly or even when we read between the lines. It happens that people hurt us “unintentionally,” and also the voices inside our own heads too (lies of Satan) leave us discouraged and saddened.

Patrícia Regina: Low self-esteem and fear.

8. In your experience, how has your life as a SM been better, worse or different in the church as compared to in the world? What is the difference? Can you give us an example?

Patrícia Regina: It’s been very different. Without God, when I was away from the church, I felt the onset of depression. I am fragile. He strengthens me. 

Rose: I had the privilege of visiting the church when my daughter was only 2½-years-old, and this was essential for me to be able to raise my daughter in a welcoming environment. At church I was part of a group of single mothers, and then my daughter grew up making friends with children who had the same situation as her. Because I see that those who suffer the most prejudice are their children, especially when they go to school, but as my daughter was surrounded by love at home and in the church, this caused a protective effect. 

Without a doubt, if I hadn't been at church, it would have been much lonelier, because the church redirected my life. I was raised to have a career and motherhood, in a way, hindered that. But with the church I had a greater purpose. I was able to feel happy. And having a successful career was no longer a priority. In the church I also learned that although it is not God's plan to have a child out of wedlock, children are a blessing. That thought has always helped me to deal better with the fact that I can't do some things because I'm a mother.

The difference is that in the world most often it’s each one for him/her self. And we feel very helpless to deal with each situation. And in the church, we had specific classes on how to help our children, and we felt loved and so did our children.

Nelce: I am quite sure and convinced that in the church I found the necessary support and help that came directly from God to accept His forgiveness, to heal my broken and sick heart. Without the help of the church, I know I would not have overcome it. I would not have the emotional fortitude to raise my daughter. In the world we find a certain endorsement to continue living only for ourselves, just satisfying our own will, living in sin, because that’s “normal,” but the world does not give us relief from our burdens, which we find only in the grace and love of God.

Clementina: Twenty-nine years ago, when my son was seven, I became a Christian. At that time, because I was involved in various activities in the church, I believe that I stayed away from him more than was really necessary. This always created a feeling of guilt. I regret my lack of wisdom.

On the other hand, I received instruction about how to do devotions and guidance on how to discipline, which were extremely helpful.

Precious were also the fun times my son spent with some brothers. This helped him to have a male spiritual reference.

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The Church

9. How has the church helped you or met your needs as a SM?

Patrícia Regina: Friendships. My friends and I pray together. Today, my dating relationship has helped me a lot also. As a man, he helps me understand my son better (who is now 20 years old, and not yet a disciple).

Rose: I believe that the church helped me by not judging. Having a child outside of marriage often results in a condemnation that is implied even if not expressed. And in the church, we have acceptance through forgiveness. It is an opportunity to "fix" the flaw. I received emotional support through specific aid groups.

Nelce: I have always been very loved, even when I became pregnant while still single. I received only support and love from the church. The church loves me in countless ways. It trains me, strengthens me, teaches me, helps me to persevere in Christ, and even helped me financially when I needed it. The church is a gift. It is a joy and a privilege to be united with the family of God.

Laryssa: The church in general has always taken good care of us, but in particular, something that encourages me a lot is when some brothers feel free to lovingly correct my son. When they do that, I feel Solomon has a reference of godly men in his life, since he doesn't have that at home.

10. Do you think the needs of SMs are considered enough in the church?

Clementina: Looking at the various ministries: the marrieds, singles, older women’s, youth and children’s ministries, I can't see a place where SMs fit in.

Patrícia Regina: I feel the needs are not discussed enough. As a single woman, I have felt out of place in parenting classes because the teachers only give examples for married couples. 

Rose: It is not simple to answer this question. Although I was helped a lot, the groups I participated in most of the time were led by single women without children, or married women. They were great. But I believe that we often wanted to know the perspective of those who passed through similar situations as we did. Well, maybe that would have helped some mothers who weren't very mature in life. I don't know how it is today. I hope that has changed.

Fatima: No, that’s something that still needs some work.

11. Have you experienced any form of prejudice in the church? If so, how?

Rose: I don't know if it's prejudice, but I feel that sometimes there is a lack of integration with single mothers within some groups. But it is so subtle that we often consider this distance to be normal.

Nelce: I do not feel it is prejudice, but sometimes I just feel a certain reference to “couples.” For example, a ministry is led by so and so, who are almost always married, and sometimes it gives me a  little sensation of still being slightly inferior for not being married; a certain sadness, which I try not to feed in my heart. My daughter has felt it a little too. She has said, “Mom, I wish you were married.” She said this because she wanted to be with her friends from the church, daughters of disciples, at an event that was for married couples. It still causes me a little sadness.

Patrícia Regina: Yes, from a few people but not in general. It’s not the institution that is prejudiced, but the sinner. When it happened, it was an isolated incident.

Clementina: When my son was young, I realized that some people saw a limit to the spiritual growth of a woman who raised her children alone.

12. What kind of assistance or teaching is lacking for SMs in the church?

Nelce: I think that the church in Brasilia takes care of families well.  I already received a lot of training about raising children, being vulnerable, and other classes that helped a lot in raising my daughter. I think that some training that would be very good would be how to be emotionally strong, to learn not to be carried away by emotions and sentimentality, especially when there is a love interest. We need more training on how to build relationships (dating or engagement, and even marriage).  I find it very easy to fall into traps set by our own heart. Sometimes when we get involved with another person, we lose focus, we start doing things in a way that is not good, manipulating situations out of fear, loneliness, and even emotional weakness.

Fatima: That we should not be looked at as a person with a disability waiting for help all the time.

Patrícia Regina: I believe we need classes about: learning how to educate as a single parent, how to live confidently with God, how to deal with adolescents who are not yet disciples. There was a time when I almost got sick from worry. There are many needs; each child is different. Support groups would be helpful, where we could talk in an open, yet confidential, atmosphere.

13. What do you wish others could understand about being a SM (whether inside or outside of the church)?

Laryssa: It is a challenge. Making decisions alone about a child's life is not easy. Receiving help will never replace the presence of a father or another man who assumes that responsibility. Sharing tasks, decisions, dreams about the child's life is something that every single mother longs for.

Nelce: I would like them to be more empathetic and supportive. Being a single mother is often a very heavy burden because we carry the responsibility of a family by ourselves. In my case, and in most cases that I know, parents are not very present in their children's lives. Having the responsibility to take care of a house, providing it with all the needs of a family, without someone to share the material, emotional and spiritual costs is sometimes heavy and a real challenge. I know they are a consequence of the choices we made, but sometimes what we need most is just genuine companionship and friendship.

Patrícia Regina: We must be strong. If we don’t fall from time to time, how can we grow or help others to grow, especially our children? It’s not easy. Sometimes I cry alone. For some, all they see are the mistakes we have made. But God is the husband who will never abandon me, even when I am falling to pieces. I wish people understood that judgment can be harsh. 

14. Do you feel the treatment and acceptance of your child is equal to that of two-parent children in the church?

Patrícia Regina: Yes, but my son got close to brothers who ended up leaving the church and this affected him. But how can you foresee or avoid something like that? So, we must trust that God is in control. I have learned to forgive like I was forgiven. 

Fatima: Yes, my son is a very dearly loved child in the church.

Rose: Thank goodness I never felt a difference in relation to my daughter. But I don't see many couples today with children calling the children with only one parent to spend time together with their children.

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Spiritual Life

15. How is your relationship with God affected by your SM status?

Patrícia Regina: It’s not a negative factor. I even think it has helped me to depend more on God.

Rose: I am grateful that if I have a relationship with God today, in part it is because after unplanned motherhood. I felt the need for something more in my life—a sense of purpose. And God found me at that moment. A scripture in Isaiah comes to mind. I remember that I got a Bible from a friend, and my mother liked for me to open it and read it wherever it happened to open to. Once I opened it to Isaiah 54: 4-5.  In the version I read, it said, "that I would no longer be ashamed of the humiliation of my youth and God would be my husband." So, it helped me to seek my fullness in God. It’s what strengthens me even today.

Clementina: Being a solo mother puts us on our knees for much more time before God.

16. Do you experience/feel the support from God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in your life? How?

Patrícia Regina: Absolutely! In every situation, be it in times of deliverance, or moral or physical support, God is my Rock.

Nelce: I feel God's love for us. I see His care and zeal for us always, in the small details and in the great things that happen to us. The Holy Spirit speaks very often to my spirit. This is very real to me. His answer always comes, not always exactly when I pray or question, but it does come. I have confidence. I know that I can count on Jesus.

Fatima: To me, God is tireless, never negligent, never on vacation and infinitely present as a loving Father in my life.

17. Do you feel loved, forgiven and complete in your relationship with God? Is there anything missing for you to feel happy and content?

Patrícia Regina: I feel complete with Him. Whatever pain I have from the past, I take it to Him in prayer, to be healed. Today, I feel forgiven and healed by God, through Christ. I am happy when doing God’s will even if circumstances may make me cry.

Fatima: Yes, of course I feel loved by God and constantly forgiven as well. I feel that there is still more that I could experience in God to be happier and complete in everything. God always has something to add to our lives.

Laryssa: I feel loved and forgiven in my relationship with God. But I feel that the work in my life in this emotional area has not yet been completed. I feel that God is still polishing me in this area and that He is preparing someone special so that I can complete my family, formed by me and Solomon. This process of waiting demands a lot from me, but I struggle daily with my nature to strengthen my trust in God. God has already done a lot for me. He gave proof of His love. After Jesus, Solomon is the greatest proof of God's love for me. I try to focus on that and live one day at a time.

18. Which Christ-like characteristics inspire you the most in your single parent circumstances? Which of these qualities have you succeeded in imitating?

Patrícia Regina: Love, love, love! Faith, hope and love, like in Luke 15! I live this out every day. I try to live this with my son: the attitude of the Father, who allows the son to leave, then waits, forgives, and loves.

Rose: Maybe looking at people and myself with less judgment, but with more compassion. Jesus' love for God and His dependence on the Father showed He understood that He could do nothing without the Father. So how can I live my life and be a good mother (and nowadays, a good wife) without the presence of God in my life? So what I want is always to be within His will.

Nelce: The humility of Jesus inspires and challenges me a lot. I admire His simplicity, His meekness, and His devotion to the Father. He never left the Father. He had a constant relationship with Him. This is very inspiring for me. I have a melancholy temperament which is being transformed by Christ throughout my Christian life. These qualities of Jesus make me want to be transformed more and more. He sympathized, was tolerant, took care of people and loved them through His actions. This is what I want most, to show love in action (1 John 3:18).

Clementina: Unconditional love, perseverance, courage and wisdom.

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So, what now? 

If you’re like me, after reading this article you can see many ways to better serve the SMs in your church as well as have expectations for them to raise up and do more for their particular demographic. 

An open dialogue is always helpful. If you are a church leader and have come to the realization that you and/or your church have some growing to do in order to meet the needs of SMs and their children, now is the time to take action.  Resist the temptation of thinking, “I can’t handle yet another ministry” or “I don’t even know where to begin,” and start relying on God and the SMs. Now is the time to come together and see who’s able to contribute their talents and share the load. 

Suggestions:

If you don’t have a ministry devoted to the needs of SMs, perhaps you could start one. Start small and work up to that ideal situation. Here are some ideas:

• Start a bible discussion group for SMs. The story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) is a rich passage that could help moms talk about similar issues in this article. 

• Begin an encouragement group on a cell phone app. Encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13) through scriptures and words of inspiration. Virtual groups can create a sense of community quickly and easily.

• Have a devotional. A time of sharing victories and struggles could be invigorating and stress relieving. 

• Begin a Big Brother group at church. Pair spiritually-minded and responsible young men to mentor kids with absent fathers. (Ex.: help with homework, do fun activities together, teach basic life skills, etc.) 

Some say it takes a village to raise a child. I think it takes a church, especially when attempting to overcome pride and prejudice. Let’s all do our part and together and we’ll get the job done!

Note: This article was written during the COVID-19 pandemic. Please take all into account the best practices for your country and immediate area regarding safety during a pandemic when considering any suggestions in the article.

Footnotes:

(1) Synopsis by goodreads.com