Quiet Times for Moms of Littles
Editor’s Note:
This is the first in a collection of spiritual reflections on the famous passage on Love in 1 Corinthians 13, written and compiled at the end of 2019. Two of our sisters in Christ – Jan Mitchell and Mary Shapiro (see their bios at the end of this article)– lead a group of young mothers and wanted to create a quiet time series for them on the theme of Love. This series is the fruit of that effort.
LOVE IS PATIENT
By Karen Morrison
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23)
An older NIV translation uses patience instead of forbearance.
“Lord, give me patience”
I am honored to be able to write a little bit about my life and the wealth of practice the Lord has given me in developing patience. Funny enough, I was speaking with a co-worker of mine recently (I am a high school guidance counselor, to give you context) and I said something to the effect of, “Lord, give me patience” -- referring to a particularly tough situation I was about to address. My co-worker, who is not terribly religious, answered, “You realize that when you pray that you will be tested.” That was not encouraging, considering what I was needing to address…but it did make me reflect. Sooooo, I enter into this writing with some level of trepidation and hopefully with some humility as I reflect on some of these moments.
“Lord, give me a LOT of patience”
I have been a Christian for more than thirty years, having been baptized at eighteen years old as a freshman at Florida Atlantic University. My husband and I have been married for seventeen years – and we were late at arriving to the marriage game. He was 41 and I was 32 when we got married in June of 2003. Neither of us had been married or had had kids before and we had both been Christians for fourteen years when the blessed event took place. By the grace of God, we had gotten professional counseling in our dating relationship (yep, we had THAT much baggage!) so we had some good tools going into marriage…but let me just say that if you have to get counseling in your DATING relationship, there clearly is a real reason for it. So, from almost the get-go, we have had to exercise a lot of patience with each other because of our past issues (if you want more details, I am happy to share, so feel free to contact me…but if I had started back there, this article would NOT be concise).
Who is sitting on the throne?
One of the early disagreements my husband and I had was about when to start a family. Now ladies, you may know that when baby fever hits, you have NO patience by nature. And if you have not hit your early 30’s yet, just wait! Something in that lovely God-given biological clock of yours amps up and begins to scream regularly, “I WANT A BABY AND I WANT IT NOW!!!” Somehow our inner two-year-old surfaces again, even though we are full-grown adults. So, you can probably imagine how that discussion went, since when I entered into marriage, I was already in my early 30’s. The husband wanted some time to enjoy marriage and his lovely wife. The wife was like, ‘Yeah, but…I WANT A BABY NOW!!!’.
Oh, my…oh my…this was one of the first lessons for me in both submission and patience (funny how those two things can be SO tied together). One of the things I discovered in this process is that a lack of patience (and submission) was rooted in self. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. And isn’t that the way it is? If you look deeply at what triggers impatience, it is usually because self has somehow crawled back up on the throne and moved Jesus out. What are some triggers of impatience (and often the accompanying smoldering anger)? I will share here some of mine…
- I think I know better than someone else
- My timeline for things does not play out
- I am in the middle of something and get interrupted
Please note in every one of those triggers there is a clear focus on me, myself and I. What I want, what I think and what I need to accomplish are clearly more important than anything and anyone else around me. Impatience, in most cases, is a symptom of a larger Lordship issue. And that is where we need to repent.
So now that I have thoroughly depressed you by focusing on the bad news, let me give you some concrete hope. Repentance is refreshing – and possible! I must reiterate the scripture at the beginning:
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Please also note that the word ‘fruit’ above is singular. Remember when I said impatience is a symptom? What it ends up being a symptom of is being out of step with the Spirit. What we need to do to repent is get back in step with the Spirit. We need to get self off the throne and Jesus back on the throne where He belongs as Lord. When we submit to Him again and get Him back in His rightful place, spiritual order is restored. When that order is restored and the self is crucified once again, we will be back in step with the Spirit. Then the fruit of that restoration will abound and not only will we find that all-elusive patience we did not have, but we will also find all the rest of the fruit that comes with being in step with the Spirit…the love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And when you read that list, you realize that if you are lacking one you really are lacking most of the rest of them too. But the good news is that once you get back in step with the Spirit and restore Jesus to His rightful place, you will find patience you didn’t even realize you could have! And that is because you have tapped into something that is greater than yourself. The Spirit that you received at baptism gives you power to overcome yourself and to be more than you could ever imagine.
Back in step with the Spirit
So, to finish my story from above, I did finally decide to repent and align with the Spirit (and thus with my husband’s desire), so we waited a year before we started trying to have children. God blessed us and on the second month trying we were able to get pregnant and carry our sweet (and now not so) little son Daniel. If I had not repented of my impatience and gotten in line with the Spirit, that particular little genetic combination that God put together would not have arrived on this earth. And if you know Daniel at all, his whole being has brought with it a number of other growth opportunities in patience, along with all of his developmental challenges. But, I can tell you that it is clear God has a very specific purpose for his being here on this earth exactly as he is…and had I not repented of impatience, gotten back in step with the Spirit and restored Jesus as Lord, I would not have been able to play out this part in God’s greater story. He is weaving together something incredible, Sisters, and we get to be a part of it! Repent, get in step with the Spirit, and come along on the adventure of your lives!
Jan Mitchell : Jan has been a disciple for over 40 years. She and her husband, Mitch, have been married for 43 years, been on staff at 6 different churches, have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. She is a die-hard Wolfpack fan, and enjoys spending time teaching and training, traveling and playing outside with their grandchildren. She currently lives in the greater Raleigh, NC area.
Dr. Mary Shapiro is currently the Director of the ADHD Clinic at Duke Medical School's Southern Regional Area Health Education Center in Fayetteville, North Carolina, where she specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD, behavior disorders, and other childhood conditions. For the 30 years prior to moving to North Carolina, she and her husband, Dr. Michael Shapiro, were in private practice in Athens, Georgia, where they served children and adults in predominately rural and underserved areas. She completed her PhD in Educational Psychology at the University of Georgia in 1984 and interned in the Department of Neurology at the Medical College of Georgia. She and her husband have lectured extensively (both domestically and abroad) on topics related to child psychology, parenting, marriage, adoption, and mental health issues in a Christian context. They have authored two publications for Discipleship Press International; “Rejoice Always: A Manual for Christians Facing Emotional Challenges” and “Understanding Sexual Behavior in Children: How to be Proactive in Educating and Protecting your Children.
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