Candace and Monja Delaport

A fruitless search.

Time went on and I silenced those desires. The world became my oyster. At 15, clubbing, smoking hub, and marijuana, became rituals that fueled destructive behavior. I felt lonely, angry, and utterly broken. I gave myself to the world, but the more I gave, the emptier I felt. I looked for my belonging in men to fill the gaping hole in my heart. But it left me feeling void of any purpose. I prayed to God, hoping that he could fill it, but knew that I was separated from Him because of the way I chose to live. I realized if I continued that journey, I’d ultimately destroy myself.

Getting back home.

I decided to go back to church, and when I saw Monja again, I still felt loved, and seen, even though many years had passed. We started studying the Bible. It was exceptional how her love for me made such a massive difference in me finding God. She loved me in such a beautiful way, but I still battled with the idea that I could be worthy of God’s love.

The night before my baptism, I was at a church family camp. In my tent, under a tree, I poured my heart out to God with loud cries, begging him for a sign that He loved me, and wouldn’t abandon me as I chose to give my life to him. As my tears dried, I opened my eyes, and there was a street light shining over the tent in the shape of a perfect heart. It stretched out and covered the entire tent. I knew then that I could trust a God who planted a tree and moulded every branch and leaf to comfort me at that moment. I was baptized on October 18, 2015 at the age of 18.

The power of community.

I wish I could say that I never questioned His love after that, but the next three years were filled with hills and valleys, beautiful highs, and awful lows. I’m so thankful that I was in the East Region of the Johannesburg church. Inspiring and spiritual women surrounded me and loved me and helped me grasp God’s love, notably Nekecia Van Niekerk and Lesego Parkies.

Another person who inspired the next stage in my life was Emma Bouah (a member of the Cape Town church), who went to the US through an au pair agency. I saw a glimpse of the independence she established and how she flourished. I always wanted to travel and deepen my identity, as she did. So I applied to become an au pair (a live-in nanny) in the US. One fantastic tool was the church locator on the Disciples Today website. I only interviewed families close to a church, and shared my convictions with them. God generously gave me a host family with beautiful twin girls. My host family supported my beliefs and devotion to the church. My host mom, Allison, welcomed me with so much warmth and love. She was so intentional and considerate, making my room feel like a home away from home, while also supporting me in many different ways. This family was an incredible blessing to me.