Modern Feminism and Traditional Christian Values:

How to Have Constructive Conversations 

By Leslie De Morais

July 12, 2023

Lunch with the girls was losing its appeal. Amy used to look forward to the Friday group lunch with the women from her office but ever since Josie and Kate, burgeoning feminists, were becoming increasingly vocal, the weekly lunches had taken a negative turn. 

Amy, a Christian, was considering finding something else to do on Friday at lunchtime. Maybe a spin class at the gym or running errands would sound like acceptable excuses to quietly extract herself from the increasingly uncomfortable and recurring conversations she found herself in week after week. Amy was a conflict avoider.  

As a disciple of Christ, she knew she needed to offer a Christian view on some of the hot button issues of the day, but she didn’t know how, when, where or how much to do it. Just the thought of opposing Josie or Kate made her stomach feel uneasy. Spin class and running errands were looking better and better to her. 

Does fictional Amy’s story sound familiar? If you share similar feelings or situations, hopefully this article will help you find the courage and conviction to know what to say and how to say it. 

In recent decades, the discourse surrounding feminism has undergone significant transformations, giving rise to various branches of thought and activism. Meanwhile, traditional Christian values, rooted in centuries of Biblical teachings, continue to shape the lives of believers. This article aims to compare and contrast modern feminism with traditional Christian values, highlighting key differences and providing arguments that Christian women can employ confidently and respectfully when engaging in conversations with feminists.

Equality and Dignity

Modern feminism emphasizes gender equality, aiming to dismantle systemic barriers and ensure equal rights and opportunities for all genders. Christian teachings, while acknowledging inherent differences between men and women, also affirm the equal dignity and worth of every individual. In Galatians 3:28, the Apostle Paul states, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." This verse emphasizes the equal standing of all believers in the eyes of God, regardless of gender or social distinctions.

Argument: Christian women can argue that while feminist movements have played a vital role in advocating for gender equality, Christianity offers a unique perspective by highlighting the intrinsic value and worth of every individual, transcending social and gender distinctions, and has done so for 2000 years.

Roles and Responsibilities

Modern feminism often challenges traditional gender roles, advocating for the dismantling of perceived gender-based restrictions. In contrast, traditional Christian values recognize distinct roles and responsibilities for men and women within the family and society. Ephesians 5:22-24 states, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." Similarly, Colossians 3:18-19 emphasizes the role of women in submitting to their husbands, and husbands in loving and leading their wives.

Argument: Christian women can argue that traditional Christian values provide a strong framework for harmonious relationships within families, where men and women work together in complementary roles, each contributing their unique strengths for the well-being of the family unit.

Sexuality and Abortion

Modern feminism embraces sexual liberation and reproductive rights, including the support for abortion as a woman's choice. On the other hand, traditional Christian values uphold the sacredness of human life and promote sexual purity within the context of marriage. Psalm 139:13-14 states, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." This verse emphasizes the inherent value and sanctity of every human life, including the unborn.

Argument: Christian women can engage in respectful dialogue by highlighting their belief in the sanctity of life and the importance of sexual purity, while also expressing compassion and support for women facing difficult circumstances, encouraging alternatives to abortion and promoting a culture of trusting in God.

Self-empowerment and Identity

Modern feminism often encourages women to embrace self-empowerment and to define their identities outside of traditional roles. Christianity, while promoting personal growth and self-worth, emphasizes finding one's identity in Christ and aligning with God's purpose. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, it states, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" This verse encourages individuals to find their true identity and purpose in their relationship with God.

Argument: Christian women can confidently assert that finding identity and purpose in Christ brings a sense of fulfillment, inner strength and excellence that goes beyond societal expectations, providing a firm foundation for personal growth and empowerment.

Things to remember

Expressing an argument (a distinct perspective you have) and arguing (aggressive verbal conflict) are two different things. Remember, the stronger your argument, the softer you can speak. Even non-Christians can identify common sense and truth when it is clearly presented.

1. Jesus was instructed in what to say and how to say it

   Luckily, we have Jesus’ example to follow: his patience, kindness, respect, and righteousness. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel, just imitate Christ’s words and actions.

   John 12:49-48 “I’m not making any of this up on my own. The Father who sent me gave me orders, told me what to say and how to say it. And I know exactly what his command produces: real and eternal life. That’s all I have to say. What the Father told me, I tell you.” (MSG)

   This Bible version (The Message) is so plain and easy to understand. Jesus was given numerous hard teachings and corrective messages to deliver. God knew Jesus would be met with resistance. For this reason, He thoroughly instructed His son about what He wanted communicated.  

   
   

2. Be prepared

   Preparation, in any field of work or study, can reduce stress and nervousness. Defensiveness, anger and feeling flustered come about when we are caught off guard or are put on the spot to answer a challenging topic. 

   Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

   Reduce anxiety about facing people with different views through preparation. Get prepared by:

   • discussing these tough subjects with older more experienced disciples and learn how they address difficult topics
   • studying skilled orators on YouTube and learning from those who have mastered strong argumentation
   • memorizing Biblical principles for your responses

3. Use discernment and discretion

   As Christians, we must be ready to explain why we believe what we believe. However, we also need to know when not to cast pearls before swine…in other words, know when not to waste time and energy on those not interested in hearing what we have to say. 

   2 Timothy 2:23-26 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

   Pray to have the discernment to know when a discussion has turned into an argument. Don’t be afraid to shut down a talk that’s gone south or a conversation that’s become too heated. Ask for time to consider what the other is saying. No one says “No” to that!

In comparing modern feminism with traditional Christian values, it becomes evident that both have distinctive perspectives on gender roles, equality, sexuality, and personal identity. Christian women can engage in conversations with feminists by emphasizing the unique contributions of their faith, while recognizing the shared goals of advocating for dignity, justice, and equality. By employing biblical teachings, Christian women can offer valuable insights while promoting mutual understanding and dialogue on these important issues.